Transcript for The Good Old, Bad Old Days[]
(Scene: The park. Scoops is watching the sun using a telescope.)
Narrator: It's another beautiful, bright Sunday morning, which is great! Unless you're out looking for stars.
Scoops: See anything yet?
Becky: Scoops, I know we have to finish our star chart for school, but we're not gonna see any stars now. It's too early.
Scoops: You're right, you're right. (Becky and Bob start to walk away.) How about now? (Bob chitters in annoyance.)
Becky: Relax. We just need one clear night in--
(The Butcher runs past them, knocking Scoops over. He has a book in his hands.)
Butcher: Watch out! Coming through! Look alive on the sidewalk! (A police car approaches, and the Butcher shoots meat at it, slowing it to a halt.) Yeah! (laughs) Hey! Nothing can stop me now!
Becky: (grabs Bob's hand) Come on, Bob! Word up!
(Becky transforms into WordGirl and flies away. After she and Captain Huggy Face have gone, an old man runs up next to Scoops.)
Old Man: Stop, thief! He took my book! (WordGirl and Captain Huggy Face return.) Did you kids see a really big guy run past here? Looked like a butcher?
Scoops: You mean the Butcher?
Old Man: That's him! He stole a very important book from me, and I need to get it back. Can you help? Oh, sorry. Sheldon. Sheldon Zellman.
WordGirl: This shouldn't take too long. Word up! (flies away)
(Scene: The museum. The Butcher prepares to steal an exhibit of meat-related statuettes.)
Narrator: Moments later at the museum...
Butcher: The missing sausage links! (rubs his hands) Whoa ho, breakfast is served!
(WordGirl flies in.)
WordGirl: More like, justice is served!
Butcher: WordGirl! Good one!
WordGirl: Thanks. Now step away from the sausages and put your hands up!
Butcher: Eh, nah. I don't feel like it.
WordGirl: Don't feel like it? What do you mean, you don't feel like it? This is how we always do it.
(The Butcher takes out the book he was reading earlier and reads from it. Meanwhile, WordGirl continues talking in the background.)
Butcher: "How to defeat a pesky superhero. Step one: First, take care of the sidekick with the big mouth." Okay. Uber ham!
WordGirl: Remember last week at the bank? (Captain Huggy Face chatters in alarm and points to the sky. A gigantic ham falls down and crushes him.) Huh?
Butcher: Now, if you'll excluse me... Swedish meatball surprise! (fires meatballs towards WordGirl)
WordGirl: Uh, the word is "excuse", and-- Whoa! (is hit by the meatballs and falls from the sky)
Butcher: Well, toodle-oo!
(WordGirl peeks her head out of the pile of meatballs as Scoops approaches her.)
WordGirl: Oof!
Scoops: Did you catch the Butcher?
WordGirl: No, he got away. I wonder what's so special about that book. Hey, where's Sheldon?
Scoops: (takes out a note) Oh, he said he had to go catch a bus. He left you a note. (He shows WordGirl the note, and Sheldon's voice is heard in a voiceover.)
Sheldon: Listen, if you want to know what's so special about that book, come down to the Home for Retired Heroes and Villains today at lunchtime. Oh, and bring soup.
WordGirl: Bring soup?
Scoops: So, uh, want to get started on that star chart?
WordGirl: (climbs out of the meatball pile) Just, um, start without me. I'll make it up to you, Scoops, I promise. (grabs Captain Huggy Face and holds him up in front of Scoops) Here, Huggy can help until I get back. (Captain Huggy Face chitters in protest.) Sure you can. (throws Captain Huggy Face at Scoops)
(Scene: The Home for Retired Heroes and Villains.)
Narrator: Later...
(Sheldon is sitting by a table, playing cards with himself, when WordGirl comes to meet him. She waves, but gets no response.)
WordGirl: Uh... hello?
Sheldon: Did you bring the soup? (WordGirl puts a can of soup on the table.) Myron, come see what the kid brought!
(A resident in a wheelchair with a pet peacock enters the room.)
Myron: I'm coming, I'm coming.
Sheldon: So, first off, hard to believe it's really me, right? (chuckles)
WordGirl: Uh...
Sheldon: I am the Blue Blazer! (An old man in the background coughs. WordGirl looks confused.) You never heard of me? Come on, the Blue Blazer? I was one of the most dangerous villains in the whole city!
WordGirl: Uh, guess it was a little before my time.
Myron: He, I told you she wouldn't know. She has no idea who you are.
Sheldon: You be quiet.
Myron: I have to live with this guy.
Sheldon: WordGirl, meet my long-time rival and one of the biggest, bravest superheroes you'll ever meet: Razzmatazz.
Myron: You can call me Razz! Or Myron. Myron Rosenstock.
WordGirl: I'm really sorry I haven't heard about you guys, but I'd love to learn more about your history, if you'd care to reminisce.
Sheldon: Even better. We'll tell you a super-terrific story from back in the old days.
WordGirl: Well, that's what it means to reminisce. It's kind of a dreamy way of saying "to talk about things from the past".
Sheldon: Oh, well, we do that all the time. Myron, let's reminisce. (leans on the table in front of Myron)
Myron: Okay. I remember it... Sheldon, get out of the way. (Sheldon moves back into his chair.) I remember it like it was yesterday.
(The screen turns as if it were the page of a book. Comic book panels show images of Myron and Sheldon in their youth.)
Myron: I was just leaving the deli with some nice, fresh bagels, when suddenly, I see this one, the Blue Blazer trying to rob an armored car.
(Sheldon lifts the comic book page to interject.)
Sheldon: They were just going to give all that money to the bank. Oh, what a waste!
Myron: Sheldon, now you're Mr. Big-Time Storyteller? (Sheldon chuckles nervously and pulls the page back down.) So I sprang into action! (Past Myron rips off his clothes to reveal his superhero outfit and flies away in his wheelchair. He uses a bright light to blind the Blue Blazer.) And razzmatazz, I took out the evil Blue Blazer with one fell swoop, leaving him empty-handed! (Razzmatazz flies into the sky, ending the flashback.)
WordGirl: Wow, that's a great story, guys, but I still have to catch the Butcher and finish my homework, so maybe you could tell me more about this missing book?
Sheldon: Book? (Becky gives him a curious look.) Oh, yes. I'm reminiscing about all the things we did in the past and writing a book about it. The Butcher. (Another flashback starts of the Butcher visiting Kid Potato. He offers to play catch, but Kid Potato refuses.) He was here at the Home for the Retired Heroes and Villains to see his daddy.
Myron: Oh, yes, Kid Potato. Pretty good guy for a bad guy.
(The Butcher spots Sheldon sleeping in an armchair with an open book over his chest. The Butcher grabs the book and the flashback ends.)
Sheldon: And then, the Butcher snuck in here and took it. He really got the best of you, huh, kiddo?
WordGirl: No! It just seemed like he had a better plan than usual. And just when I was making my whole "You'll never get away with this" speech, he, uh... Well, he got away. (Sheldon and Myron laugh heartily.) What? What's so funny?
Myron: He pulled the oldie St. Louis Toodle-Oo. That's tip #1 in the book!
WordGirl: Tip #1? Hey, what's this book of yours called anyway?
Sheldon: "How To Beat a Smarty-Pants Superhero at His or Her Own Game" by Sheldon Zellman. And Myron, who helped a little, but not really.
WordGirl: What?! This is a book about how to defeat heroes like me?!
Myron: Also, I think maybe he stole my glasses. Oh, nevermind. (grabs his glasses from his laps and puts them on)
(WordGirl's superhearing picks up an alarm ringing.)
WordGirl: (gasps) An alarm! At the... Museum of Enormous Metal Food? When did that open?
Sheldon: Last week.
Myron: They're about to display the priceless golden brisket!
WordGirl: Guys, I'm gonna go get that book! Word up! (flies away)
(Scene: A rooftop. Scoops is watching the sun while Bob is drawing on a star chart. Scoops thinks he spots a star, only for it to turn out to be WordGirl flying towards him. She waves nervously before continuing on her way, to his annoyance.)
(Scene: The Museum of Enormous Metal Food. The Butcher is reading his book while dragging large sticks of butter across the floor.)
Butcher: "Tip #22: Apply a little butter to the scene of the crime to help grease your getaway."
(WordGirl enters the scene.)
WordGirl: Not so fast, Butch-- (slips on the butter as she lands) Oh!
Butcher: (walks away while laughing) Oh man, this book is the greatest! (leaves with the golden brisket)
WordGirl: Ugh! This is ridiculous. Word-- (slips again) Whoa!
(Scene: The Home for Retired Heroes and Villains, evening. WordGirl is sitting at a table with Sheldon and Myron. There is a radio in the shape of a skull on the table.)
Sheldon: So, he used the old butter-on-the-floor trick, huh?
Myron: The Chattanooga Turnaround, a classic.
WordGirl: Listen, I'm running pretty short on time. Are you sure there aren't any tips or tricks in your book that would help me out? You know, like in your story. The clever way Razzmatazz defeated the evil Blue Blazer?
Sheldon: Evil Blue Blazer?
Myron: Huh? Is that what we told you?
Sheldon: Hmm...
Myron: (to Sheldon) No, no, no, you've got it backwards. You were the good guy, I was the villain. I think.
WordGirl: Wait, what?
Sheldon: Hmm... The Blue Blazer. That certainly sounds like a good guy, doesn't it?
WordGirl: Are you two serious? I've got to say, it sounds like your memories are a little hazy.
Sheldon: Hazy? I never heard such a word. What's with this "hazy"?
WordGirl: "Hazy" means something is hard to see, hard to understand, or not clear. For example, the details of your story keep changing. It's not clear what the real story is, so it's hazy. Or like the clouds in the sky right now. Even though it's getting dark, we can't see any stars because it's too hazy.
Sheldon: Ah, now I get it. Crystal clear.
Myron: She's very talented with words.
Radio Announcer: This just in, the Butcher has been spotted at the brand-new Museum of Metal That Goes Under Food, home of the world-famous, stupendous silver serving platter.
Myron: That would look great under the golden brisket. (WordGirl sighs.)
Radio Announcer: Now back to the hits. (Rock music plays.)
WordGirl: Well, you guys have been pretty much no help at all. (starts to float away)
Myron: I said something wrong?
WordGirl: So unless you have a tip that would actually help me...
Sheldon: Hmm... Well, when you get there, watch out for a bucket of liver and onions over the front door.
Myron: (laughs) Classic!
WordGirl: Yeah, classic. Word up. (flies away, annoyed)
(Scene: A rooftop. WordGirl flies past Scoops and a bored Captain Huggy Face. Scoops groans in annoyance.)
(Scene: The Museum of Metal That Goes Under Food. The Butcher is reading his book in front of a giant serving platter and sighs, annoyed. WordGirl arrives at the scene.)
WordGirl: Aha!
Butcher: WordGirl! Boy, am I happy to see you. (walks towards her)
WordGirl: Hang on. You're happy to see me? Why? Are you faking?
Butcher: No, no, I'm not! I want to turn myself in. This is no fun anymore.
WordGirl: Wait a minute. How do I know this isn't another trick from your tricky book of, you know, tricks?
Butcher: Because I'm all out of tricky tricks! The book wasn't finished! (points to a mostly empty page)
(Sheldon, dressed in his Blue Blazer costume, comes running up to the two.)
Blue Blazer: Oh, good, she's still here. Myron, she's still here!
(Myron flies up to them in his wheelchair.)
Razzmatazz: Who's still where now? Oh, right, the girl with the word.
WordGirl: (sarcastically) Oh, great, you guys. (normally) Listen, it's nice to see you and all, but I'm really late. (ties the butcher up, places him on a giant serving tray, and throws Blue Blazer's book to him) So here's your book back. Plus, I have to say, "How to Beat Superheroes"? Not my favorite subject.
Butcher: Yeah, and the ending stinks!
Razzmatazz: Everyone's a critic.
Blue Blazer: WordGirl, that's why we came by. You are absolutely right. Our story was a little hazy.
Razzmatazz: We finally figured it out. We were both bad guys!
Blue Blazer: Yeah, both of us. But I was worse.
Razzmatazz: Oh, way worse.
WordGirl: Wait. What?!
Razzmatazz: Yes. The Blue Blazer and Razzmatazz. We were a team of evil supervillains. We both robbed the armored car.
(Another flashback starts of the Blue Blazer and Razzmatazz escaping with bags of money.)
Blue Blazer: But then we were caught by the Peppermint Kid, a superhero just like you.
(A peppermint-patterned shield is thrown at the two, causing them to drop the money. It returns to a superhero in a peppermint-themed outfit.)
Razzmatazz: At least I think we were.
(The past supervillains shrug, and the flashback ends.)
Sheldon: It was an awfully long time ago.
WordGirl: Oh, you gotta be kidding me. (flies away)
(Once WordGirl is gone, the Blue Blazer and Razzmatazz free the Butcher with sinister smiles.)
Narrator: And so, with another criminal brought to justice, and a very old story finally made a little less hazy, Becky and Scoops can finally turn their attention to the clear night sky and fill up their star chart with a little help from above.
(Scoops looks through his telescope to see that the night sky is too cloudy to see any stars, to his disappointment. WordGirl arrives and grabs him and Captain Huggy Face. She flies above the clouds so they can see the stars and the moon.)
Narrator: Remember, if you want something fun and exciting to reminisce about all week long, be sure to tune in to the next stupendous, star-studded episode of WordGirl! And bring soup.