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S1E3a WordGirl pushing horse
"Huggy, I need your help!"

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  • Narrator: When Dr. Two-Brains wants a giant ray that turns objects into cheese, he usually makes it himself, and yet, here he is, shopping at gadget whiz, Hal Hardbargain's Villain Supply House. Why, you ask? Because even a super villain can't resist the awesome power of a coupon.
  • Dr. Two-Brains: Hello! I have a coupon! Says here I get a free piece of cheese with purchase of a super ray.
  • Hal: Yes, sirree. You do. I don't know how I stay in business handing out free cheese, but work isn't always about money, am I right? 5, 6, 7, 8.
  • Dr. Two-Brains: Well, thanks for the freebie.
  • Hal: Say, what do you plan to do with that ray that turns diamonds into cheese anyway?
  • Dr. Two-Brains: We're gonna rob Reginald's Jewelry Store and turn all his diamonds into delicious cheesy goodness!
  • Hal: Ah, the Jewelry Store. I remember when the great villain Wally Walnuts robbed it.
  • Dr. Two-Brains: Well, we should be going now.
  • Hal: It was me, Wally, Tommy Two-Necks...
  • Dr. Two-Brains: Well, we should be going now...
  • Hal: The Little Kahuna, and Rotten Pete.
  • Dr. Two-Brains: We really have to go!
  • Hal: Ohh! Well, what do I care? Let me know if you need another ray. Good-bye!

  • WordGirl: Hey! Wha-- Who did that?
  • Mayor: Please do not throw paper planes on the stage. If anyone throws a plane, I will have to confiscate it.
  • WordGirl: "Dear WordGirl, Dr. Two-Brains is going to rob Reginald's Jewelry Store. Your's truly--wait-- I forgot I'm not telling you who I am. Don't look up." Huh?
  • (Mysterious Guy runs away)
  • WordGirl: Who is that guy?
  • Captain Huggyface: (Squeaks)
  • WordGirl: You're right. Sorry, Mayor, got to run. Word Up!

  • Dr. Two-Brains: Mind if I cut in? Ha Ha Ha!
  • Reginald: Oh, dear.
  • Dr. Two-Brains: We both know why I'm here.
  • Reginald: Oh, it wouldn't be to rob me wouldn't it?
  • Dr. Two-Brains: Of course...
  • (Captain Huggyface and WordGirl arrives)
  • Dr. Two-Brains: Not. Of course not. Rob you? What?! That's ridiculous! "Rob you." Heh heh! This guy.
  • WordGirl: Mm-Hmm.
  • Reginald: In that case... How may I help you, sir?
  • WordGirl: Yes, Dr. Two-Brains, why are you here with two henchmen and a giant ray?
  • Dr. Two-Brains: I need a gift for my anniversary.
  • WordGirl: You're not married.
  • Dr. Two-Brains: I meant my niece's graduation!
  • Unnamed Henchman: But, Boss, she graduated two years ago? Lovely affair.
  • Dr. Two-Brains: It's the anniversary of my niece's graduation, okay?! Her graduation anniversary. Now let's escape-- I mean, I leave.
  • WordGirl: Not so fast, Dr. Two-Brains.
  • Dr. Two-Brains: Are you really going to arrest me for shopping?
  • WordGirl: Well, I guess you haven't actually committed a crime yet. I know, Huggy, but just because a paper plane says something doesn't mean it's true. I guess you can go. But I'm confiscating this-- Whatever type of ray this is.
  • Dr. Two-Brains: Great. See you later! So I just walked away from her. But she confiscated the ray before I really had a chance to use it! So maybe you'll consider giving me a new one for no charge.
  • Hal: I'll tell you what. If you buy me a new ray, I'll throw in another free piece of cheese. Huh?
  • Dr. Two-Brains: Sold!
  • Hal: Perfecto!
  • Dr. Two-Brains: Mmm, thank you, Hal!
  • Hal: Now, uh, since I know you don't like reading. I'm going to suggest a ray that I just happen to have in stock.
  • Dr. Two-Brains: What does it do?
  • Hal: It turns money into cheese!
  • Dr. Two-Brains: Wow! New plan, boys. We're gonna steal all the money out of the National Bank. Then turn it into cheese, and then we're gonna eat the cheese. Ha Ha Ha!
  • Hal: That sounds like a great plan!
  • Unnamed Henchman: Gee, Boss, if we're robbing a bank, why not just use the money to buy cheese?
  • Dr. Two-Brains: Because I like to steal things that don't belong to me. It's part of being an evil villain, but wait! Why not just steal the ray? I mean, it's what we do.
  • Unnamed Henchman: Whatever you say, boss.
  • Hal: Hey!
  • (Captain Huggyface and WordGirl arrive)
  • Mayor: WordGirl!
  • WordGirl: Sorry, Mr. Mayor. I had to go confiscate a weapon. Should I go my speech now?
  • Mayor: Well, you flew away, so I changed this to a Mayor Appreciation Party. Have a snack in honor of his honor Mayor--Me!
  • WordGirl: Yeah, you're right. A party is a party. Let's eat.
  • (Captain Huggyface throws a cookie to WordGirl)
  • WordGirl: Thanks a lot. Hey! Check this out! It saids "Turn around."
  • Mysterious Guy: WordGirl, you don't have much time.
  • WordGirl: Time for what? And who are you?
  • Mysterious Guy: That doesn't matter. Dr. Two Brains is going to rob the National National Bank. If you hurry now, you can catch him and confiscate his ray. Go, go, go! Go, go, go!
  • WordGirl: But--Who are--
  • Hal: Go, go, go! Go, go, go!
  • WordGirl: Okay!
  • Dr. Two Brains: It's really very simple. You give me all the money in the bank or I will fire this ray that--
  • (Captain Huggyface and WordGirl arrives)
  • Dr. Two-Brains: That I just found sitting here. It isn't mine. Where did this come from? You should have WordGirl come pick it up. Oh! There she is! Have a nice day!
  • Bank Teller: WordGirl, he pointed that ray at me and said, "Give me all the money in the bank".

  • Bank Teller: If I had known, I would have prepared something. No one tells me anything.
  • WordGirl: I don't need to be a whiz to figure out you're committing a crime here, Dr. Two Brains, but I can't figure out how. I know, but I really want to get back to my party.
  • Dr. Two-Brains: Yes! Go enjoy yourself. You deserve it!
  • WordGirl: Okay, but I'm confiscating this ray!

  • WordGirl: You guys were going to use this ray to commit a crime, and as a law-enforcing superhero, I have the power to confiscate it.
  • Unnamed Henchman: Oh, yeah. That makes sense!
  • Dr. Two-Brains: Ohh.

  • Hal: Say that reminds me. Did I ever tell you about the time.

  • Dr. Two-Brains: Wait a minute. Wait a minute. You know I just thought of something. How did WordGirl know about my crimes before they even happened?
  • Unnamed Henchman: She couldn't have, boss.
  • Dr. Two-Brains: I smell a rat and I should know. Someone tipping off WordGirl.
  • Hal: (Laughs) (Whistles) So, where did you say your next crime is gonna be?
  • Dr. Two-Brains: The plans just changed. And I just found my rat.
  • Hal: Uh-oh.
  • Dr. Two-BRains: You Hal are going to help me get WordGirl once and for all. And for that, I'm going to need a special order.
  • WordGirl: Hmm. It does say my name. "WordGirl, meet me at the Taco Stand." Not again. Well, where is he?
  • Mysterious Guy: No time for tacos, WordGirl. Dr. Two-Brains is about to commit his biggest, cheesiest crime ever.
  • WordGirl: Tell me where the crime is, and I'll go stop him.
  • Unnamed Henchman: Hi, WordGirl.
  • WordGirl: Hey! I mean, hey! Those are mine! I confiscated them fair and square!
  • Dr. Two-Brains: Make me some cheese, boys!
  • WordGirl: Oh, no! Activate Plan Number 396! Hey, over here! Can't get me!
  • Unnamed Henchman: Oh yeah?
  • WordGirl: Ha! What do you say now, Dr. Two-Brains? Dr. Two-Brains?
  • Dr. Two-Brains: Over here, Cheddar Girl! Ha ha! This ray turns superheroes into cheese! Hey! Hal, what happened?
  • Hal: I couldn't let you turn WordGirl into cheese. Hal Hardbargin, villain supply whiz. I'm a big fan, WordGirl. You're the reason villains keep coming back to my store for new supplies.
  • Dr. Two-Brains: That's why you told WordGirl about all of my plans, so she would confiscate my rays and I'd have to come back and buy more?
  • Hal: Hey, this guy's sharp as cheddar! I've never said you could trust me, just that I was a gadget whiz.
  • Unnamed Henchman: Your real name is Whiz?
  • WordGirl: No. He's saying he is a Whiz.

  • Hal: All right. Well, I'm glad everything worked out. I'm gonna head back now over to Hal Hardbargain's Villain Supply Store! We accept all competitors' coupons!

  • WordGirl: Um, I don't think so, Hal. You may have told me about Two-Brains' crimes, but you also helped commit those crimes by selling the rays.
  • Hal: Ugh! Aah! Aah! Ooh! Ugh! Remind me to invent a monkey-proof jacket.
  • Narrator: And so WordGirl proves once again what a word-whiz and crime-fighting whiz she is. Heh heh. Say, I wonder if she has to confiscate that cheese or if I can take it home.
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