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Transcript for Parsley, Sage, Rosemary and Crime

(Scene: A light bulb shop.)

Narrator: Ah, Light Bulb Shop, the one-stop shop for all your lighting needs, providing constant illumination for 50 years. (The Energy Monster pops up behind the shop.) Uh-oh.

(She starts sucking up the electricity from the shop when WordGirl and Captain Huggy Face show up to stop her. She hides in fear behind the shop.)

WordGirl: I see you, Energy Monster! (The Energy monster tries to sneak away, but is big enough to be seen behind the buildings she is hiding behind.) Uh, I still see you. (The Energy Monster tries to hide behind a lamppost. WordGirl can still see her.) Yup. (The Energy Monster crosses her arms in a huff.) It's no use trying to be elusive. You're enormous! Kind of hard to miss. (The Energy Monster moves to attack.) Huggy, startle face!

(Captain Huggy Face makes a grimace and scares the Energy Monster, who knocks her head into the lamppost's lightbulb and gets sucked inside. WordGirl captures the now-minuscule Energy Monster.)

WordGirl: Word up! (takes off, her job complete)

(Scene: The Botsford residence. Becky walks in the door.)

Becky: Hey, dad! We're home!

Mr. Botsford: Oh, that's nice. Where were you again?

Becky: Oh, just playing hide-and-seek with the Energy M-- (Bob elbows her.) I mean, what's for dinner?

Mr. Botsford: Becky, are you ready to whip up a delicious recipe from the Botsford family cookbook? (holds up a very thick and very old book and blows the dust off it)

Becky: Whoa! This looks old!

Mr. Botsford: It is! Every member of the Botsford family has added their own recipe, starting with Jebediah Botsford way back in 1838! Tonight we're making Jebediah's favorite dish, bold Botsford stew!

Becky: Bold Botsford stew?

Mr. Botsford: Trust me, Becky. Trust Jebediah Botsford! He wrote, "Bold Botsford stew will be a truly delicious concoction, if only you can find all the elusive ingredients."

Becky: (reads through the page) Well, these ingredients sound pretty easy to find. Cheese, pasta, basil.

Mr. Botsford: Ah-ah-ah. Not just any basil. Bold Botsford stew calls for bold Botsford basil, (puts on a hat and takes out a walking stick) a rare plant which only grows in a secret clearing in the forest.

Becky: Uh-oh. Wait a sec...!

Mr. Botsford: Put on your adventure shoes! We're going on a hunt for bold Botsford basil!

Becky: But how will we find one tiny, elusive plant in the big, big--

Mr. Botsford: Hmm. I don't know, maybe we'll follow the map that we have!

Becky: Map? (Bob squeaks in concern and tries to sneak off.) Oh no! If I'm tromping through the woods in search of elusive ingredients, you're coming with me. (grabs Bob and walks off)

(Scene: Dr. Two-Brains' lair. Dr. Two-Brains is standing in front of a pot, surrounded by large quantities of cheese.)

Narrator: Meanwhile across town, Dr. Two-Brains is busy brewing up his own unusual concoction...

Dr. Two-Brains: Okay, henchmen! I'm ready to whip up the fricassee! Read me the recipe!

Unnamed Henchman: (reading from a cookbook) "How to make cheesy cheddar cheese casserole with cheese con queso."

Dr. Two-Brains: Keep reading.

Unnamed Henchman: "Step one, take lots of cheese and melt it down."

Dr. Two-Brains: Melt down cheese. (drops an armful of cheese into the pot) Easy-peasy! Next?

Unnamed Henchman: "Add the following ingredients to your concoction: Raisins..."

Dr. Two-Brains: (adds a jarful) Raisins!

Unnamed Henchman: "...bread crumbs..."

Dr. Two-Brains: (adds a jarful) Bread crumbs. Next?

Unnamed Henchman: "...and bold Botsford basil."

Dr. Two-Brains: ...What in the name of nouvelle cuisine is bold Botsford basil?!

Unnamed Henchman: "Bold Botsford basil is an elusive plant, found only in a special clearing in the forest."

Dr. Two-Brains: Ugh! You're telling me I have to go trudging through the forest just to find one elusive ingredient?!

Unnamed Henchman: Don't yell at me.

Dr. Two-Brains: (sighs) Looks like we're going on a little field trip.

Unnamed Henchman: Don't you mean "little forest trip"? (chuckles)

(Scene: The forest. Becky, Mr. Botsford, and Bob are heading towards a spooky-looking area.)

Mr. Botsford: Now where could this bold Botsford basil be?

Becky: Ugh. It certainly is an elusive plant.

Mr. Botsford: Elusive?

Becky: If something is elusive, it means it's hard to find or locate.

Mr. Botsford: Ha! Father, daughter, and monkey trek into the forest searching for the elusive bold Botsford basil! (He walks off into the forest. Bob shrugs and moves to follow him.)

Becky: Hold up, Bob. Do you see these footprints? (They look down at a trail of footprints with pieces of cheese next to it. Bob lifts a piece of cheese to investigate.) Huh. (smells the cheese) Cheese crumbs! That can only mean one thing: Dr. Two-Brains! Come on, we've got to warn dad!

(Cut to deeper in the forest. Becky and Bob have caught up with Mr. Botsford.)

Becky: Dad, I've been thinking. What if there's something dangerous out here in the woods, like, you know, bears?

Mr. Botsford: Now, Becky. I can assure you that these woods are perfectly safe and bear free. (A twig can be heard snapping.) What was that?! (yelps) Bears! No!

(Dr. Two-Brains and his henchmen emerge from the darkness.)

Becky: What are you doing out here?!

Dr. Two-Brains: Who's the nosy kid?

Unnamed Henchman: We're looking for some bold Botsford basil for Dr. Two-Brains' cheesy soup thingy.

Dr. Two-Brains: Hey, hey! Come on, guys! A little secrecy? And it's more than cheese soup. It's a special concoction.

Unnamed Henchman: I would've said concoction, but I wasn't sure what it meant.

Becky: A concoction is a bunch of ingredients all mixed up together.

Unnamed Henchman: Oh, so bold Botsford Basil is the key ingredient in Dr. Two-Brains' concoction!

Mr. Botsford: Well, isn't that a funny coincidence? We're looking for bold Botsford basil too! We can share!

Dr. Two-Brains: Yeah, I'm not a big fan of the sharing, but since I am the one with the goop ray, maybe I'll take all the basil... once we find it.

Mr. Botsford: Oh, do you have a map too? (takes out the map)

Dr. Two-Brains: You have a map?!

Becky: Dad! A little secrecy?

Mr. Botsford: I'm just trying to be friendly.

Becky: He's a villain!

Dr. Two-Brains: Correction! (snatches the map) A villain with a map! Thanks, mister. You are friendly!

Mr. Botsford: Well, I try.

Dr. Two-Brains: (reading from the map) "Turn in the direction of Jebediah Botsford's cabin." Huh?

Mr. Botsford: Jebediah's cabin was east of here, on the sunny shore of Lake Gitchie-Goomie. Jebediah Botsford was my great-great-great grandfather.

Dr. Two-Brains: Uh-huh. Good. (takes out his goop ray) Then we'll all go together. Keep an eye on the kid and the monkey, boys. (throws the goop ray to the unnamed henchman) Now let's go find that Botsford basil and get out of here. I left the stove on.

(Dr. Two-Brains' henchmen approach Becky and Bob. The unnamed henchman points at the goop gun.)

(Cut to deeper into the forest. There is a fork in the road. Animals chatter in the background. Dr. Two-Brains looks at the map.)

Dr. Two-Brains: Hmm. Let me see. "If Jebediah Botsford's beard was red, turn left. If Jebediah Botsford's beard was green, turn right." What?!

Becky: Don't tell him, dad. It'll only help him find--

Mr. Botsford: Green! Jebediah had a green beard! (Dr. Two-Brains proceeds down the right path.) Sorry, honey. When it comes to Botsford family trivia, I just can't contain myself.

Becky: (whispering) Bob, we have to figure out a way to stop Dr. Two-Brains, but the henchmen won't let us out of their sight. We'll have to find a way to distract them.

(Mr. Botsford and Dr. Two-Brains are wandering down the path.)

Mr. Botsford: "If your name is Jebediah, try looking for the elusive plant right beneath your nose."

Dr. Two-Brains: Yeah, but none of us are named Jebediah. Only Jebediah was named Jebediah!

Mr. Botsford: And there he is! (points his walking stick towards a cliff carved to look like a man's face)

Dr. Two-Brains: Huh?

Mr. Botsford: That's the face of Jebediah Botsford, and the bold Botsford Basil must be just beneath his nose!

Dr. Two-Brains: (drops the map in awe) Bold Botsford basil...

Mr. Botsford: (puts his foot on a stump in a dramatic pose) The elusive plant, at last.

(Dr. Two-Brains takes out a raygun from his coat. He shoots the stump, turning it into cheese and leaving Mr. Botsford's foot stuck in it.)

Dr. Two-Brains: Thanks, buddy. Stand back, everyone, I'm a doctor. (He steps towards the cliff and is joined by his henchmen, Becky, and Bob.) Once I have that basil, my delicious concoction will be complete. Yummy, yummy!

Becky: (whispering) Okay, Bob. Time to carry out the secret plan. Ready? (She starts dancing around as Bob leaps away from the henchmen.) La dee da!

(Bob climbs the trees, dressing up as Captain Huggy Face in the process. Hidden by the shadows, he starts making creepy monkey noises, scaring Dr. Two-Brains' henchmen.)

Becky: Uh-oh! Could that be... a bear?!

Unnamed Henchman: Oh, I don't like bears. Besides Charlie's teddy bear.

(A roar is heard.)

Becky: Ooh! Well, that doesn't sound like a teddy bear to me. (Captain Huggy Face screeches.) Wow! It sounds like a whole lot of bears!

Unnamed Henchman: Okay, now I'm getting spooked! Maybe we should run back to the van. You want to run back to the van? (Charlie nods, and they do so.)

Becky: Word up! (turns into WordGirl and flies off)

(Elsewhere, Dr. Two-Brains reaches down to pick a sprig of basil, but WordGirl snatches it before he can do so.)

Dr. Two-Brains: WordGirl? Way out here? Where did you come from?!

WordGirl: Stop right there, Two-Brains! This elusive plant is the key ingredient for the Botsford's family's dinner!

(Dr. Two-Brains scowls at her. Meanwhile, the unnamed henchman is trying to keep Charlie from running off.)

Unnamed Henchman: Charlie, the van is this way!

(Captain Huggy Face continues making spooky noises as the henchmen leave in the opposite direction. Suddenly, he steps on a loose branch and falls on top of them.)

Unnamed Henchman: Oof! Hey, this ain't no bear!

(Captain Huggy Face squeaks an apology. The two find WordGirl, who is holding the basil triumphantly, and Dr. Two-Brains. Charlie is holding Captain Huggy Face.)

Unnamed Henchman: Hey, boss. The bear wasn't a bear. It was a monkey! (He points at Captain Huggy Face, who tries to bite his finger.)

Dr. Two-Brains: I told you there weren't any bears out here! And there aren't supposed to be monkeys either. Looks like it's time for a little trade, WordGirl. You give me that basil, and I'll give you your monkey. Otherwise, the monkey gets gooped. (The unnamed henchmen holds up the goop gun as Captain Huggy Face struggles in Charlie's hands.)

(Meanwhile, Mr. Botsford is trying to get his foot out of the cheese stump.)

Mr. Botsford: (groans) Lump of hardened cheese! (Above him, a variety of forest critters see the cheese. They come down to eat it, freeing him.)

(Back with WordGirl, she is struggling to decide between Captain Huggy Face and the basil.)

Dr. Two-Brains: Isn't your sidekick worth more than some silly weed?

(WordGirl continues trying to decide. Captain Huggy Face looks offended.)

WordGirl: Oh, okay. Here you go.

'(Dr. Two-Brains gasps in delight. Suddenly, Mr. Botsford shows up and knocks out the henchmen.)

Mr. Botsford: Tim Botsford to the rescue!

Dr. Two-Brains: Give me that!

(Dr. Two-Brains grabs the basil, only for Mr. Botsford to take it from him in return. Dr. Two-Brains tries to run after him, but WordGirl grabs his coat. The unnamed henchman takes the basil from Mr. Botsford.)

Unnamed Henchman: I got it!

(The basil gets grabbed by Captain Huggy Face, then Charlie, then WordGirl.)

WordGirl: Not so fast! (She flies into a bear and drops the basil right in front of it. It growls angrily at the group.) Oh.

Dr. Two-Brains: That's a be... a be-be-be... a be...

Mr. Botsfod: Bear. That is definitely a bear.

Dr. Two-Brains: A bear! So there are bears out here after all!

(The bear roars. It picks up the basil and grunts in confusion.)

Dr. Two-Brains: Okay... Look, papa bear, I'm the city's number one villain, which makes me, well, kind of a big deal. And I need this basil to complete a mouth-watering cheesy concoction from a recipe that I stole fair and square from a popular celebrity chef. So let me have the basil, please.

(The bear roars, then makes bear noises at Mr. Botsford.)

Mr. Botsford: Why do I deserve this basil? Well, let's see, I...

Dr. Two-Brains: Wait. You can speak bear?

Mr. Botsford: I took a few classes in college. (to the bear) I am a father who just wants to feed his family a tasty meal. Maybe you're a parent too, Mr. Bear. (The bear looks back at its wife and son, then makes more bear noises at Mr. Botsford.) Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Yes, mm-hmm. Well, I think that could be arranged. (The bear gives him the basil, and he gasps.) Thank you, your bearishness!

Dr. Two-Brains: Oh, come on! What about my concoction?! (WordGirl uses her superspeed to trap him and his henchmen in a hollow log.)

WordGirl: (pats his head) I'll be sure to tell the police where to find you. (flies off and returns as Becky)

Becky: Hey, guys! I was hiding up in that tree the entire time. Great job getting the basil, dad!

Mr. Botsford: Thanks, Becky. And thanks to Jebediah Botsford and WordGirl for helping out, too! Now let's get home and get cooking!

(Scene: The Botsford residence. The family is eating the bold Botsford stew.)

TJ: Mmm! This is amazing, dad! What's in it?

Mr. Botsford: Well, the special ingredient is... (pause) love.

TJ: Ew! I hate love!

Mr. Botsford: Just kidding, it's basil. Bold Botsford basil, to be exact. Pretty hard to come by. Isn't that right, Becky?

Becky: You know it, dad. Hey, what did the bear whisper to you before he gave you the basil?

(The doorbell rings.)

Mr. Botsford: (gasps) Oh, I almost forgot! (He opens the door, and the bear and its family steps in.) He asked if he could have some bold Botsford stew for his bear family. Apparently it's been a legendary dish ever since the days of Jebediah Botsford!

Narrator: And so, after finding the final elusive ingredient and sharing the delicious concoction with a helpful bear, dinner is served. Join us next time for another exciting episode of... WordGirl!

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