Transcript for Mousezilla

Narrator: At a thinly-attended evil villain convention held in a seedy motel on the outskirts of town…

(Scene: Inside the motel conference room. A variety of the regular villains are seated around tables, talking. Tobey walks up to a buffet table.)

Tobey: Processed foods. Ugh.

(Dr. Two-Brains appears from the other side of the line, and grabs some cheese from one of the plates.)

Dr. Two-Brains: Op, sorry, pardon me. On a quest for cheese here.

Tobey: You’re Dr. Two-Brains.

Dr. Two-Brains: Right the first time!

Tobey: I- I’m a big fan of your work. I read your article about “Escaping the Scene” in last month’s Modern Villain Monthly. Good stuff!

Dr. Two-Brains: Oh, pish-posh. So, what’s your schtick?

Tobey: Uh, giant robots?

Dr. Two-Brains: Catalog or homemade?

Tobey: Homemade.

Dr. Two-Brains: Nice! Wait a second, you wouldn’t happen to be Tobey the boy genius robot-- builder-- kid, would you?

Tobey: More or less.

Dr. Two-Brains: Well, this is a pleasure! (shakes his hand forcefully) I’ve been following your career! Not too shabby, kid.

Tobey: So, tell me, what brilliant and evil inventions have you been working on lately?

Dr. Two-Brains: Oh, you know, this and that, gravity machine, time travel, brie blintzes… oh, and I recently tried turning platinum into cheese, but all I got was a strong, super-thin metal with a bitter steel aftertaste. (eats another piece of cheese)

Tobey: Hmm… you know, I’ve been trying forever to develop a material just like that!

Dr. Two-Brains: Really?

Tobey: Well, I am a robot man, of course. And with your new metal, I would be able to build my most indestructible robot yet! Uh, any chance, Doctor, that you would be interested in a collaboration?

Dr. Two-Brains: Tobey? Can I call you Tobey? Why not? I’ve got a few days to kill. (shakes hands with Tobey)

Tobey: Excellent!

Narrator: Meanwhile, on the happy side of town, our heroes enjoy another stimulating family outing.

(Scene: A grassy area.  Becky, Bob, TJ and Mrs. Botsford are looking at Mr. Botsford, who is wearing a whistle.)

Mr. Botsford: ...And, find a tree!

(Mrs. Botsford looks around and points at a tree behind her.)

Mr. Botsford: Good. Find... your shoes!

(She pulls off one of her shoes and holds it up.)

Mr. Botsford: Good. I don’t know, I think we should try our best to-- Quick! Find your nose!

(Mrs. Botsford and TJ press their fingers against their noses.)

Mr. Botsford: That’s not fast enough!

Mrs. Botsford: Honey, don’t you think you’re taking this scavenger hunt a little too seriously?

Mr. Botsford: But we have to do everything in our power to beat our opponents!

TJ: Why? It’s not like we win anything cool.

Mr. Botsford: It’s not the prize, it’s the winning! I want my family to win a scavenger hunt-- scavenger search-- I mean, scavenger quest!

Becky: Quest, search, hunt, they mean the same thing. You mean no one in our family has ever won a scavenger hunt?

Mr. Botsford: No! Oh, Grampy Botsford once came close in seventy-two, but he folded under the pressure. Well, that’s not going to happen here, right?

Mrs. Botsford: If you say so, dear.

Mr. Botsford: That’s the spirit! Sort of. Now, let’s get going, team. As your group leader, I’ve divided our scavenger list into four parts.

Mrs. Botsford: (reading her list) "Walnuts, a meteorite, a rubber chicken in a tuxedo"? Oh, what fun!

Becky: (reading her list) "An autographed picture from a celebrity cat?" (Throws her hands up in frustration) Where are we gonna find that?

(Violet comes over toward Becky.)

Becky: Oh hey, Violet! What’s all that stuff you’re carrying?

Violet: Oh, just some of the items my mom and I have collected for the quest so far. Only two more to go! (walks off)

Mr. Botsford: (gasps) Let’s go, team! Move it! Move it!

(He and TJ run off.)

Mrs. Botsford: (waving) And everyone have fun!

(She walks off, leaving Becky and Bob alone.)

Mr. Botsford: (offscreen) I said move!

Becky: Come on, Bob. We’ve got to find that autographed picture, a rare pink violet, and a pine cone in the shape of Abraham Lincoln.

(She hears a distant, menacing sound.)

Becky: Wait, my super-hearing is picking something up. (gasps, and grabs Bob) Let’s go! Word UP!

(A giant mechanical mouse is seen walking through downtown. Dr. Two-Brains and Tobey are standing on the street watching it. Tobey has a remote control in his hand. The mouse smashes its hand through a building, and lifts up a pile of cheese.)

Dr. Two-Brains: Tobey, my lad, I must say your engineering is truly remarkable!

Tobey: Well, thank you sir, but uh, you came up with the perfect metal.

Dr. Two-Brains: (chuckles) Yeah, I know. Say, should we collaborate, you know, work together on what to call our evil genius creation?

Tobey: Excellent idea! Hmm… uh, perhaps, um, Mouse Monster, or Robotzilla?

Dr. Two-Brains: Hmm-- how about a little bit of both? Mousezilla!

Tobey: I love it! To us!

Dr. Two-Brains: To us!

(WordGirl and Huggy descend in front of them.)

Tobey: WordGirl! (There is joy in his voice, but it quickly fades as he looks over at Two-Brains.) I- I mean, WordGirl.

WordGirl: Tobey and Dr. Two-Brains collaborating? Isn’t playing well with others against evil villain rule number 344?

Tobey: Rules are made to be broken. Besides, our collaboration is the best thing that’s ever happened to us!

WordGirl: Come on, Huggy-- let’s take this metal mouse down!

(She takes off without Huggy, and flies toward Mousezilla. When she hits it, she bounces off and falls back to the pavement.)

WordGirl: Ugh! Whoa, I didn’t even put a dent in it.

Dr. Two-Brains: That’s because Mousezilla is made from one of my genius inventions-- platinum bircarphite number two-one-one.

(Tobey stares at Two-Brains for taking all the credit.)

Tobey: Uh-uh- of course, without the aerodynamic design of your truly…

Dr. Two-Brains: Although such a creation would have been impossible without the flexibility of my platinum!

Tobey: Agreed… (clears throat) You see, uh, WordGirl, you might as well quit now, my new creation…

(Two-Brains looks at him angrily, and clears his throat loudly.)

Tobey: ...OUR new creation… is too advanced for you!

WordGirl: We’ll see about that!

(She takes off with Huggy. The two of them start pounding their fists against one of the mechanical hands.)

Tobey: Oh, I forgot to tell you, I gave our creation a little special feature! Watch!

(Two-Brains glares at him.)

Dr. Two-Brains: You didn’t run this by me!

Tobey: Don’t worry, you’ll thank me!

(Tobey presses a button on the remote, and from its nose the mouse blows a large bubble around WordGirl and Huggy.)

Dr. Two-Brains: You’re right, thank you! Well, that was easy!

(Mousezilla’s hand flicks the bubble, sending WordGirl and Huggy sailing away.)

WordGirl: Hey! Whoa......

Tobey: Yes, uh, maybe a little… too easy.

Dr. Two-Brains: To the cheese vault!

Tobey: To the Really Tall State Building!

Dr. Two-Brains: But first, to the cheese vault! (runs off)

Tobey: Yes, of course. Heh-heh.

(WordGirl and Huggy are still trapped in the bubble, which has carried them far away. It hits a tall tree and bursts. WordGirl and Huggy fall to the ground. Huggy holds up a strange-looking pine cone that fell from the tree.)

WordGirl: Huggy, you all right? (He nods yes.)

(It turns out that they landed in the park, where the scavenger hunt is going on. Mr. and Mrs. Botsford walk by.)

Mrs. Botsford: But dear, I’m positive the commotion came from over here.

(Both of them spot WordGirl under the tree.)

Mrs. Botsford: (gasps) It’s WordGirl! And Captain Huggy Face!

(Mr. Botsford looks at the pine cone Huggy is holding.)

Mr. Botsford: (gasps) Is that a pine cone you’re holding in the shape of Abraham Lincoln??

WordGirl: Umm…

Mr. Botsford: Oh, no. Are you guys in the scavenger quest too? NOO!!! We’ll never beat the superheroes! They’re too super!

WordGirl: Oh, no, uh, actually Becky found it! She told me to give it to you, since she’s so busy getting other stuff.

Mr. Botsford: (taking the pine cone) Oh-ho-ho-ho, why, our Becky is so smart to have you helping her. We’re gonna win, we’re gonna win!

Mrs. Botsford: But dear, I think it might be against the rules for Becky and WordGirl to collaborate.

WordGirl: Uh, actually, we looked into that, and thanks to a technicality it’s okay.

Mr. Botsford: Good enough for me! (Hugs the pine cone)

Mrs. Botsford: But are you sure you and Captain Huggy Face have time for this scavenger quest?

WordGirl: Don’t worry, we have every--

(She sees Mousezilla approaching.)

WordGirl: --reason to go right now! Word UP! (She takes off with Huggy.)

Mr. Botsford: Oh, and if you happen to pass a pink violet, maybe you could grab it for us? Pretty please?

(Violet comes by, carrying a stack of items.)

Violet: Mommy! I found the four-leaf clover! Now we only have to find one more thing!

Mr. Botsford: No!!!

Mrs. Botsford: Oh, dear. (Pats him on the shoulder.)

Narrator: Meanwhile, a fragile friendship is in danger of cracking.

(Scene: A building where Mousezilla has torn through the roof, and is sliding wheels of cheese down his tail. Two-Brains and Tobey are standing at the bottom.)

Tobey: Fine, yes, but now it’s time to seek and destroy.

Dr. Two-Brains: In a minute, in a minute! Sheesh, you kid villains today-- so impatient!

Tobey: Yes, well, you silver-haired veterans-- hmm, I’m still not sure why we have to keep stealing cheese!

Dr. Two-Brains: I’m not sure why we’re just wrecking buildings!

Tobey: Well, with all due respect, if not for my ingenious energy bubble, we’d still be fighting WordGirl and that monkey. Therefore, I should decide Mousezilla’s activities.

Dr. Two-Brains: If it weren’t for the fortified metal, which I created--

Tobey: By accident!

Dr. Two-Brains: Yeah, so? This collaboration would not have taken place if I hadn’t--

(WordGirl and Huggy show up.)

Tobey: (excited) WordGirl! Oh, you just can’t get enough of me, can you?

WordGirl: Uh, not exactly. Word UP!

(She flies back up to Mousezilla’s head. Two-Brains grabs the remote from Tobey, and presses a button. The whiskers wrap around her tightly. Huggy climbs up to mouse to get to her. Meanwhile, Two-Brains looks on triumphantly)

Dr. Two-Brains: A-ha!

Tobey: Wait-- since when do the whiskers do that?

Dr. Two-Brains: Oh, since I tweaked them

Tobey: I thought this was a collaboration.

Dr. Two-Brains: A collaboration is also based on trust, Tobey.

Tobey: Yeah, a collaboration is based on mutual discussion--

Dr. Two-Brains: If you don’t trust me to act on my own, then what kind of a--

Tobey: You should put your two brains together and find out what a collaboration actually means!

Dr. Two-Brains: We need to get supervillain team-up counseling.

(Tobey sticks out his tongue at him. Then the scene cuts to a shot of WordGirl, still struggling from within the the grasp of the whiskers.)

Narrator: Uh-oh! Will WordGirl ever free herself from Mousezilla’s metal mouse whiskers?

Dr. Two-Brains: Come on, let’s put the squeeze on her for good! (Presses a button, and the whiskers tighten.)

Tobey: No-- surely we can think of a much more diabolical way to teach her a lesson!

Dr. Two-Brains: We both know you’re just stalling because you have a silly schoolboy crush on her!

(Tobey’s cheeks turn red.)

Tobey: I do not!

Narrator: Do too, do too!

Tobey:  Stay out of this!

(Huggy slides down the mouse’s head to where WordGirl is trapped. She looks over to the theater building which is nearby. A line of people have formed at the box office, and a limousine pulls up to the theater. The back door opens, and on the seat is a cat wearing sunglasses and a pink ribbon.)

Crowd Member #1: It’s Bootsy the Cat!

Crowd Member #2:  Hey, it's Bootsy the Cat!

Crowd Member #3:  Look over here, Bootsy!

(Bootsy waves as cameras flashes go off.)

WordGirl: Huggy, look! It’s Bootsy the Cat, star of the film "Sir Kitty"!

(Huggy gives a disinterested chatter.)

WordGirl: But it IS a big deal! We need to get her autographed picture for the scavenger quest!

(Huggy points at the whiskers, which are still squeezing her.)

WordGirl: Okay, Mousezilla first, then autograph.

(Meanwhile, Two-Brains and Tobey are still bickering below them.)

Tobey: Oh please, I did ninety percent of the work! So much for an equal collaboration!

Dr. Two-Brains: You’re right, child, it wasn’t equal, because I did all of--

(A security person walks past them, holding Bootsy. Two-Brains freaks out, tossing the remote which Tobey catches.)

Dr. Two-Brains: AHHHH! A CAT!

Tobey: Oh, are we afraid of a little cat? A little bitty kitty cat?!

(Tobey programs Mousezilla to flex his tail, pick up Bootsy and carry the cat back to him. Tobey sets the remote down on the tail, and holds Bootsy up in front of Two-Brains, taunting him.)

Tobey:  Kitty, kitty, kitty!

Dr. Two-Brains: Keep away, keep away!

(Huggy jumps onto the back of Mousezilla and slides down the tail, He grabs the remote, unnoticed,)

Dr. Two-Brains: Oh yeah, well at least I don’t love WordGirl, like you do!

Tobey: Well, you’re afraid of a little kitty, kitty kitty! Meow, meow, meow!

Dr. Two-Brains: Love, love, love!

Tobey: (singing) Dr. Two-Brains, he sees the kitty and he goes "eek"--

(Huggy looks at the remote, and presses a button which releases WordGirl from the whiskers.)

WordGirl: Great job, Huggy! Let’s see if this mouse can swim!   HYAH!

(She picks it up by the whisker and heaves it far out into the ocean. Down on the ground, Tobey is still tormenting Two-Brains, oblivious as to what has happened.)

Tobey: (singing) Meow, meow meow meow meow meow, meow meow meow meow meow MEOW!

Dr. Two-Brains: (singing to the tune of "Here comes the bride") Love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love--

(WordGirl whisks them both into the back of police paddy wagon, but they don’t realize what has happened.)

Tobey: That’s it-- our collaboration is OVER!

Dr. Two-Brains: Hmph! Finally we agree.

Tobey: Uh-- where are we?

Dr. Two-Brains: And why are we in handcuffs?

(The barred doors closes to the back of the paddy wagon, and it starts to drive away. WordGirl is holding Bootsy.)

Dr. Two-Brains and Tobey: (together) Whoops.

WordGirl: That about wraps it up, right?

Narrator: Except for the “B” plot.

WordGirl: The scavenger quest! Right. (clears her throat) Excuse me, Mr. Bootsy, uh, any chance we could get an autograph?

(Scene: Back in the park, where the scavenger hunt is wrapping up.)

Mr. Botsford: I found a spotted owl!

Mrs. Botsford: I found an ancient arrowhead!

TJ Botsford: And I found a pair of nineteenth-century gym socks. They weren’t on the list, I just found them.

(Becky runs up behind them carrying Bob, who holds a picture of Bootsy.)

Becky: Autographed picture of a celebrity cat!

Mr. Botsford: We won! We found everything on the quest list!

Becky: Wait, we’re forgetting something. A pink violet!

Mr. Botsford: (crying) OOOH, IT’S OVER! We lost!

Mrs. Botsford: Oh, cheer up dear. I’m sure every team had trouble finding something on their list.

(Nearby, Violet and her mom are standing next to their pile of items. The mayor is reading through the list.)

Mayor: Acorn, blue jay feather, mood ring, tiki torch, lounging lizard-- uh-huh, all here! Next?

(He walks up to the Botsfords.)

Mr. Botsford: Look, we’ve got everything except the pink violet.

Becky: Wait! We HAVE got it!

(She goes over to her friend Violet and holds her.)

Becky: Here’s the rarest Violet of them all. And she’s wearing pink!

(Everyone laughs.)

Mayor: Becky Botsford, I commend you on your creativity.

Mr. Botsford: WE WON! WE WON!

Mayor: But, a girl named Violet wearing a pink shirt doesn’t cut it. Sorry. (He makes a sound like a “you lose” buzzer on a gameshow.)

Mr. Botsford: NOOOOO! Oh, Grampy! We came so close!

Narrator: And so, we learn that a collaboration of evil geniuses isn’t always a good thing. See you next time as we go on a new quest for adventure in another exciting episode of… WordGirl!

(During the last scene, Mousezilla is seen bobbing its head above water and holding onto a life preserver as WordGirl streaks by.)

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