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Transcript for Lunch Lady Chuck

Narrator: Another beautiful day at school. Becky Botsford and her classmates are gathered for an assembly, and there's an air of excitement in the, uh, air.

(Scene: The auditorium at Woodview Elementary School. Students are throwing wads of paper and paper airplanes across the seats. Bob is frolicking on stage. Finally, the principal comes on stage and steps to the podium.)

Principal: Everybody, settle down, please. Bob, acrobatic tricks at school assembly are disorderly. Please take your seat.

(Bob, who has been swinging on a rope, stops what is doing and begrudgingly jumps from the stage into a seat next to Becky and Violet. The students behind him clap.)

Principal: That hairy kid should be on the Olympic team. Now, as you know, we are here today to honor our beloved lunch lady, Miss O'Brien, who's retiring after 80 years-- 80 years? Yes, 80 years-- of loyal service.

(An elderly lady with large glasses, a hair net and an apron, walks gingerly toward the podium carrying a red spatula.)

Principal: So let's hear it for Miss O'Brien.

(Cheers and applause from the audience.)

Miss O'Brien:: Thank you. Children, I've enjoyed preparing lunch for you and your parents and your grandparents, and your great-grandparents, and your great-great-grandparents. So now, as I pass the spatula to the next lunch lady, let me remind you, no matter how famished you may be, DON'T BE DISORDERLY IN THE LUNCH LINE!

(She points at them with a sinister look, and everyone jumps.)

Miss O'Brien:: And most importantly, don't ask me what's in the fish sticks. Believe me, you don't want to know.

(She takes off her hair net, and throws it and the red spatula to the Principal. Then she puts on a helmet, and flips a skateboard into her hand.)

Miss O'Brien: Peace!

(She puts down the skateboard and jumps onto it, then gives herself a push with her leg and rides off the stage.)

Principal: Well, my. That was exciting, but not nearly as exciting as our next special guest-- our city's District Attorney, Mrs. Botsford.

(Becky starts clapping, but stops when she sees that no one else is joining in.)

Mrs. Botsford: Hello, kids. I'm District Attorney Botsford, Becky Botsford's mom. Hi, Becky!

Becky: (embarrassed) Hi Mom.

Mrs. Botsford: So, as District Attorney, I'm responsible for making sure villains who've committed crimes go to jail. But I've also got a new plan to help criminals return to a law-abiding life by getting honest jobs. So without further ado, allow me to introduce your new lunch lady!

(From the side of the stage, Chuck the Evil Sandwich-Making Guy steps forward. He is wearing an apron with a picture of a smiling sandwich on it.)

Chuck: I prefer "lunch fellow."

Mrs. Botsford: Chuck, the Evil Sandwich-Making Guy!

(Chuck walks toward the podium, waving. Becky is in shock.)

Becky: (to Bob) Oh, this is going to be a disaster! How many times have we arrested him?

(Bob screeches an answer.)

Becky: Oh, this day can't get any worse.

Mrs. Botsford: Oh, and Becky, you left something at home.

(Mrs. Botsford holds up a Pretty Princess lunchbox. Becky's cheeks turn red, and everyone starts giggling.)

Becky: Ohhh.... (She slides onto the floor.)


Narrator: The next day, Becky and her classmates line up for lunch. Whoa, that looks delicious.

(Scene: the lunchroom. Tobey is sitting in the foreground eating a sandwich, but pulls it away after the narrator's comment. Becky and Bob walk up to a blackboard on the wall with a picture of Chuck drawn on it, along with a menu displaying pictures of different sandwiches. Eugene and Emma are already in line.)

Becky: Yikes, I'm famished.

(Bob screeches in agreement.)

Becky: Peanut butter and jelly? Don't mind if I do, though I still don't trust Chuck. We'd better keep a close eye on him.

(Eugene steps up to get his meal.)

Chuck: May I help you?

Eugene: (in a high-pitched voice) Can I get a ham and cheese?

Chuck: (in a stern voice) A ham and cheese? Oh, I'll give you a ham and cheese. (brief pause) Here you go.

Eugene: Thanks!

Chuck: Oh, it's a pleasure to serve you. Come again soon.

Becky: Huh. That was unexpected. (to Chuck) Uh, may I have a peanut butter and jelly?

Chuck: You betcha! (He walks away, and comes back with a tray.) Voila! How about your little aardvark there? He looks famished.

(Bob tries to grab Becky's tray, but she pulls it away. Bob's stomach growls, and Chuck hands him a loaded sub sandwich. Bob screeches with delight, and takes it.)

Chuck: Wow! You really love my sandwiches! This is the BEST job ever, and for once in my life, I just know tomorrow's going to be even better than today.

(This is followed by a montage of scenes with background music. It starts with Chuck's alarm waking him up, He sits up and bumps his head into the top bunk, but his frown changes to a smile as he rubs his head. Next, Chuck is driving to work, but his front tomato tire goes flat. Instead of being frustrated, he ends up smiling and holding his hands up, while Miss O'Brien skateboards on the sidewalk behind him. Next, he is on the bus reading a sandwich magazine, and he can sense everyone smiling and staring at him. Next, he punches his time card at the school, turns around, and falls through a hole in the floor created by construction going on. He claws his way up, and starts laughing. Finally, in the lunchroom, children are standing in line looking hungry, but their faces brighten and they start applauding as Chuck serves them sandwiches.)

(The story resumes. Becky walks away from the lunch line with her tray. TJ has just gotten his tray.)

TJ: Thanks, Mr. lunch lady-- lunch fellow. Your sandwiches make lunch my favorite class of the day.

Chuck: Oh, I'm blushing.

(The Principal walks up behind him.)

Principal: Hello, Chuck. Chuck, I just want to say you're doing a great job...

(Becky catches up with Bob, which has two large subs on his tray.)

Becky: You know, maybe Mom was right about Chuck. Maybe all he needed was another chance.

(Behind the lunch counter, the Principal is still talking to Chuck.)

Principal: There is, however, one thing I'm concerned about.

Chuck: That kids will go home and toss their dinners in the trash because they can't hold a candle to my sandwiches?

Principal: Yes, but also you need to wear a hair net.

Chuck: No, that's okay. I'm very clean. I shower twice a day and I take a bath every night.

Principal: I'm sure you do, but the law requires that everyone who works in the school food preparation industry wear a hair net, so here.

(She holds out a hair net for him. He puts it on, but it is too tight and squishes the top of his head. He thrashes around in pain, falling to the floor and knocking things over.)

Chuck: Ow, ow, ow , ow, ow! It kind of pinches! It kind of pinches!

Principal: Oh, Chuck, get a hold of yourself. There's no need to be so disorderly.

(Chuck rips off the hair net.)

Chuck: It's too uncomfortable! I won't wear it!

Principal: I'm sorry to hear that.

Chuck: I'm sorry you're sorry to hear that.

Principal: Well, I'm sorry that you're-- look, either wear a hair net, or you can't work here.

Chuck: Oh, really? In that case, I-- I quit!

(He throws his apron on the floor, and throws her the red spatula.)

Chuck: Ha! Lunch lady-- I mean, lunch fellow out. You guys blew it. Best lunch person ever. I'm done here!


Narrator: A little later, Chuck lets the crusher tell everyone what he thinks about the hair net rule.

(Scene: outside the school. Chuck's crusher is hovering above. The principal and some students are looking out the window.)

Principal: This is exactly why we did all those drills, children. Line up and file out calmly. When the alarm sounds, there must be no disorderly conduct.

(She reaches for a control panel on the wall, containing buttons for different possible catastrophes. She presses the one representing Chuck's crusher. An alarm goes off.)

Becky: What's that, Bob? Someone's playing four square without observing world playground game association rules? Hah, we'd better check it out. Word UP!

(She goes into a locker, and changes into WordGirl.)


(Scene: Inside the crusher control room above the school. Chuck sits at his chair. WordGirl flies in.)

WordGirl: Game over, Chuck!

Chuck: Oh, that's what you think. This baby's on timer, and I'm the only one who knows the secret password to shut it off!

WordGirl: Ugh! Fine. What are your demands?

Chuck: I want a hair net that doesn't make my hair hurt.

Narrator: Uh, I don't think it's possible for hair to hurt.

Chuck: Well, what do you know? You're just a voice. You could be bald, for all I know.

WordGirl: I'm assuming you've already tried the Hair Net Emporium, Hair Net World, and Hair Nets Ahoy, right?

Chuck: No. I didn't even think to check the hair net district.

WordGirl: Uhh!

(She flies off to find hair nets. Chuck and Huggy stare at each other awkwardly. After a few seconds, WordGirl returns with a bag full of hair nets. She puts one onto Chuck.)

Chuck: Ow!..

(She takes that one off and puts on a different one.)

Chuck: Why???

(She takes it off and tries a couple other ones.)

Chuck: WHY must you torture me?!??...

(Finally, she puts on one that fits him.)

Chuck: Now, that's luxurious! How does it look?

WordGirl: Uh, super.

Chuck: Really? Wow! My mom always said I was handsome.

WordGirl: Great. You got your hair net. Now disable the crusher, please.

Chuck: No problem. Let me just type in the secret password. Chuck...

(The console gives him a thumbs down.)

Chuck: ...Evil? No... Sandwich? No... Making? No... Guy? Well, that's all I got.

WordGirl: Are you SERIOUS?! How could you forget the password?

Chuck: I don't know. I thought of it earlier today when I was at home. Was it on the bus? Maybe I WAS home.

WordGirl: Look, just stay here and keep trying to think of the password. Huggy and I will retrace your steps and look for clues.


(She grabs Huggy and flies off. She first goes to his basement and quickly looks around.)

Chuck's Mom: (from upstairs) Charles? Is that you?

WordGirl: Charles? That could be the password!

Chuck's Mom: (from upstairs) Charles, I'm talking to you! I'm famished! You were supposed to make me a sandwich, then watch my stories with me. Hello-o! Chuckleberry?

(WordGirl and Huggy have been laughing quietly as they listen. She perks up when she hears the last name.)

WordGirl: Chuckleberry? (snickering) That's got to be it.

(She grabs Huggy and flies back into the control room of the crusher. Meanwhile, the crusher has been descending toward the school.)

WordGirl: Out of the way, Charles, or should I say... Chuckleberry?

Chuck: Hey, that's my mom's special nickname for me.

WordGirl: But is it the password? Let's see...

(She keys it in, but the console gives her a thumbs down.)

WordGirl: Charles?

(It has the same result. The crusher continues to drop down, and students on the ground start screaming while they eat sandwiches. WordGirl gets more frantic.)

WordGirl: Does your mom have any other pet names for you?

Chuck: Uh, no, not that I can think of.

WordGirl: Well-- come on, Huggy! We better keep trying to figure out that password. (She takes off again.)


(Down on the street, a tow truck is pulling Chuck's car away, and a city bus drives by. WordGirl flies alongside the driver side of the bus.)

WordGirl: Pull over!

Bus Driver: Oh. All right. You want an old-fashioned bus versus superhero drag race? Because you got it. Here we go, baby!

WordGirl: No, I don't want to race! I need to get on the bus.

Bus Driver: Do you have exact change?

WordGirl: Look, if you don't let me on, an entire school is going to get crushed by a giant sandwich press!

Bus Driver: I need exact change.

(WordGirl groans, and Huggy pulls out his coin purse and get the correct change. The bus pulls over, and she gets in.)

Bus Driver: Everyone settle down! Quit being so disorderly.

(The only two visible passengers on the bus, who have been quietly reading to themselves, look up in surprise.)

WordGirl: Uh, do you know what "disorderly" means?

Bus Driver: Yes. (He freezes and moves his eyes back and forth.)

WordGirl: It means rowdy, and out of control. No one on this bus is being rowdy or out of control.

Bus Driver: That lady back there was, uh, moving her lips too fast while she was reading to herself.

WordGirl: Right. Listen, did you have a passenger earlier today with a sandwich for a head?

Bus Driver: Look, lady, I got a lot of passengers who fit that description.

(Sammy Sub pops up from behind one of the seats and waves. WordGirl sighs, then does a quick scan of the seats. She finds the sandwich magazine that Chuck was reading earlier.)

WordGirl: Hmm. "Sandwich Enthusiast." That's got to be Chuck's magazine! Maybe the password for the crusher's in there. Let's go! Word UP!

(She takes off with Huggy, and heads back to the crusher. Chuck is pushing buttons when she arrives.)

Chuck: My magazine! I must have forgot it on the bus.

WordGirl: Alright, let's see. Enthusiast? Contents? Recipes?

(Each entry is rejected. The crusher has started to bend the antenna on top of the roof.)

Principal: Oh, no!

WordGirl: Oh, we're running out of time. Think, Chuck!

(Chuck has fallen asleep at his seat. Drool runs out of his mouth.)

WordGirl: CHUCK!

Chuck: (suddenly awakens) Oh, the crusher! Right. (yawning)

(WordGirl grabs Huggy and takes him down to the cafeteria. She sets him on the counter with sandwich fixings.)

WordGirl: Keep looking for clues, will ya?

(Huggy nods. While WordGirl zips around, he grabs a sandwich and gets ready to eat it.)

WordGirl: Huggy, what are you doing?

(Huggy screeches.)

WordGirl: What do you mean, you're famished? "famished" means extremely hungry.

(He screeches again.)

WordGirl: I should know by now, you're always famished.

(She flies back into the crusher. Chuck has his feet propped up, reading his magazine.)

WordGirl: Chuck! What are you doing? There's less than a minute left! Why aren't you trying to figure out the password?!

Chuck: Did you know bologna is named after a place in Italy? Man, I got to visit--

(The crusher keeps dropping, and everyone on the ground gasps.)

Principal: Oh! Oh!

WordGirl: (grabs Chuck and shakes him slightly to get him to remember the password) Come on, Chuck! Think! What's the password?!

Chuck: (starts to remember) Oh, yeah. I know. The password is... "password"!

Narrator: Are you kidding me?

WordGirl: Ohh.

(She keys it in, and the console gives a thumbs up. The crusher stops moving.)

Computer voice: Oh, yeah.

Chuck: Yay! I did it! I'm a hero!

WordGirl: A hero?!

Mrs. Botsford: (from the ground) Hello up there! WordGirl! Would you grab Chuck for a second? I think there may be a better place to use his talents.

WordGirl: Gladly.

(Chuck has clasped his hands above his head and is waving them around, doing a victory celebration.)


(Scene: The cafeteria at the prison. The case is stocked with sandwich items. Two-Brains is standing in line, and other villains are seated behind him )

Dr. Two-Brains: Two-Brains, party of one. Hey, cookie, what's the special today? I'm famished.

Chuck: Here you go.

(He hands him a tray.)

Dr. Two-Brains: (rapidly drum-rolls his hands on the counter in excitement) Grilled cheese! My favorite! Ooh, a toothpick. Talk about classy.

(During the narrator's closing, Chuck continues to serve sandwiches to Lady Redundant Woman, on a tray with three identical sandwiches, and to the Energy Monster, who is given a toaster with bread on top.)

Narrator: And so, once again, WordGirl and Captain Huggy Face save the day. Gee, I'm famished from all this narrating.

(Chuck lifts a sandwich above his head and hands it to the narrator. Chuck's hand is above the top of the screen. There is a big chomping sound.)

Narrator: Mmm, that's good. Anyway, we'll see you soon, loyal viewers. In the meantime, try not to do anything disorderly, while patiently awaiting the next thrilling episode of WordGirl.

(The closing scene shows WordGirl hovering over the prison at night, waving at the audience. Huggy appears behind her holding a gigantic sub sandwich.)

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