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Transcript for Caper or Plastic?

(Scene: The Botsford residence. Becky and Bob are in Becky's room. Becky has a pen and a notebook and Bob is fiddling with the antenna of a portable TV.)

Narrator: It's another lazy afternoon in the Botsford home and--

Becky: Not that lazy, actually. I have an essay due for school tomorrow!

Mr. Botsford: (appears in the doorway) I used to love writing essays for school.

Becky: Well, I have to write an essay about what I want to be when I grow up.

Mr. Botsford: I always wanted to be... a nurse. Love those little white hats.

(Bob squeaks in alarm)

Becky: Huh?

(The TV shows an ad by Hal Hardbargain.)

Hal: And where does a superbad supervillain like you go when he needs that extra-special something that's extra AND special? Why, to Hal Hardbargain's Super Villain Supply Shop!

Becky: (flatly) Oh. Him. I didn't realize how hard this assignment's going to be! I can't tell everyone I'm going to be WordGirl when I grow up. What am I going to do?

Hal: What am I going to do?! Oh no! I've been robbed!

Becky: Uh-oh! Um, dad, I've got to go, uh, do some research for my essay. Maybe I'll ask some grownups what they wanted to be when they grew up.

Mr. Botsford: Have fun!

Becky: (to Bob, once she's out of earshot) Didn't you see? A crime's been committed! We've got to get to Hal's Supervillain Supply Shop! (Bob squeaks a question.) Of course! Everyone has a right to be safe from crime, even bad guys like Hal!

Mr. Botsford: (pops up behind her) Oh! Think about beekeeping! They have great hats too!

(Scene: Hal Hardbargain's Super Villain Supply Shop. WordGirl and Captain Huggy Face burst through the door.)

Hal: (stilted) WordGirl! Am I glad to see you! A terrible crime has been committed!

WordGirl: What exactly was stolen, Mr. Hardbargain?

Hal: The bag blaster! It was a one-of-a-kind item guaranteed to do the job! And it folds up and fits under your bed, too!

WordGirl: Uh, what?

Hal: Eh, it's just a piece of junk that helps you bag groceries. And you know, villains use it to, uh, store their loot!

WordGirl: Oh! Well, who do you think might have stolen it?

Hal: Whoever stole it knew a bargain when he saw it, because he got it for free! Oh, and he must've had something to do with grocery bags.

WordGirl: Why do you say that?

Hal: Oh... No reason... at all. (uses his robot arm to point out a picture of a villain)

WordGirl: Who's that?

Hal: That's the Masked Bagger, the greatest supervillain of them all! And I ought to know. I've seen them come and go. He came, and he went. I can just picture him now...

(The screen starts dissolving.)

Narrator: Uh-oh. Looks like we're having a flashback.

(The dissolve stops prematurely.)

Hal: Oh, goody! I love flashbacks! Hey, what's a flashback?

WordGirl: A flashback is when you interrupt a story to show the audience something that happened before.

Narrator: Uh, little-known fact: flashbacks make narrators dizzy. (The dissolve resumes.) Or at least this narrator. Okay?

(Scene: The Olde Fancy Schmancy Jewelry Shop in the past. A young Reginald is selling jewelry to the young Hal when the Masked Bagger enters the store. He tries to say something, but it comes out muffled due to the bag he's wearing.)

Reginald: I'm afraid you'll have to speak more clearly. You're muffled.

Masked Bagger: (pulls down bag) Sorry. Paper or plastic?

Reginald: I detest riddles.

(The Masked Bagger takes out the bag blaster and fires a paper bag that lands in front of Reginald. He then pushes Reginald to the side and starts filling the bag with jewelry, saying something.)

Reginald: What?

Masked Bagger: (pulls down bag) The eggs always go on top!

(The Masked Bagger stashes the bag full of Fabergé eggs and leaves, winking to Hal on the way. A superhero flies into the shop after his departure.)

Reginald: You're a little late. As always.

(Young Hal stares after the Masked Bagger and gets a smile on his face. The flashback ends.)

Hal: And the Masked Bagger hasn't been heard from in years.

WordGirl: Maybe that's because his voice is muffled! Get it?! He hasn't been heard from?! Oh, forget it. (to Hal) Don't you worry! I'll find the Masked Bagger and return the stolen bag blaster! (Hal grins evilly when she's flown past him.) Oh, by the way, Mr. Hardbargain, when you were little, what did you want to be when you grew up?

Hal: I wanted to be just what I am: the greatest salesman in the whole universe!

WordGirl: Universe?

Hal: Okay, make it the galaxy.

WordGirl: Hmm.

Hal: Well, the immediate five-block area. Come on! Give me a break!

(Scene: The sky. WordGirl is scouting the city together with Captain Huggy Face.)

WordGirl: You know, I could be a salesperson when I grow up. I am pretty good with words after all. (Bob squeaks a question.) That's a given! (He hugs her.) I couldn't do it on my own! (hears an alarm ringing, which she resignedly follows)

(Scene: The museum. The Amazing Rope Guy, carrying some loot, is blocked from the door by the elderly security guard. Suddenly, WordGirl zooms in and ties him up.)

WordGirl: Do you remember a supervillain from years ago named the Masked Bagger?

Security Guard: Well, it was a long time ago, but I remember a time that... (The screen dissolves.)

Narrator: Oh no, not another flashback!

(Scene: The museum. The security guard, as a young man, is minding his own business when the Masked Bagger shows up. He makes a muffled announcement.)

Security Guard: ...What?

Masked Bagger: (pulls down costume) Sorry. Paper or plastic?

Security Guard: What?!

(The Masked Bagger uses his bag blaster to fire a plastic bag that ties up the security guard. He knocks a model dodo off some eggs and mumbles unintelligibly.)

Security Guard: What?

Masked Bagger: The eggs always go on top!

(He runs off as the unnamed superhero shows up right afterwards.)

Security Guard: You're too late again. Maybe you should consider another career.

(The flashback ends.)

Narrator: Oh, it's that ripply thing the camera does that gets me!

Security Guard: His voice was always muffled, even though I'm not really sure what that word means.

WordGirl: Well, muffled means wrapped up or covered, so you know, the sound is harder to hear clearly.

Security Guard: Oh, then I was using it correctly! Yay!

(Captain Huggy Face squeaks a reminder.)

WordGirl: Oh, right! Um, I have a question. Did you always want to be a security guard?

Security Guard: Oh, no. I always wanted to be a ballet dancer.

WordGirl: Huh. What happened?

Security Guard: Unfortunately I wasn't very good at dancing, but it turned out I was very good at standing around.

WordGirl: Well, you turned out to be an excellent security guard!

Security Guard: It does take a certain poise.

(Scene: The sky. WordGirl is scouting the city again.)

WordGirl: I could be a security guard. They stop crime. Not crazy about the uniform, though. Needs a little pizzazz, you know? Brighter colors, maybe some striped leggings. Oh, and you know what would be adorable? A little-- (Captain Huggy Face squeaks irritably.) Yes, right, right. Find the Masked Bagger and see if he stole that bag blaster. Boy, that's hard to say. (chuckles)

(Scene: The grocery store. WordGirl cuts in front of the line to talk to Bill the Grocery Store Manager.)

WordGirl: Hey! Hey there! I'm just here on a whim. You see, I'm investigating a crime for Hal Hardbargain, and I'm wondering if you happen to have anyone here who's especially good at bagging things?

Bill: (looks uncomfortable) Oh, uh, nope! Nobody like that here!

WordGirl: Hmm. By the way, Mr. Grocery Store Manager, did you always want to be a grocery store manager?

Bill: No, I wanted to be a grocery store owner, and someday, I will!

WordGirl: Would you still get to wear the apron?

Bill: Oh, this isn't for my job! I just like aprons!

(WordGirl gives him an odd look and walks off with Captain Huggy Face.)

WordGirl: Hmm. I guess some people get to be what they want, and some people find out they want to be something else. I still don't know what I'm going to write about, though. (Bob squeaks.) Yes, right. We'd better come up with a plan! Word up! (takes off)

(Scene: WordGirl and Captain Huggy Face standing on a stage in front of a table full of wares. There is a crowd gathered around them.)

WordGirl: And the winner of the first annual bag-off will win this one-of-a-kind, personally autographed picture of Captain Huggy Face!

(The crowd stares blankly for a moment before groaning in disappointment and walking off. Only Chip Von Dumor and another man remain, and they "ooh" in awe.)

WordGirl: ...Okay, baggers! Ready... set... bag!

(The two grab the wares. Chip is unable to fit the bag around them while the other man is eating the food.)

WordGirl: Ugh... This... This isn't working out too well.

(Suddenly, Bill the Grocery Store Manager approaches. He watches the two men, horrified. Soon, he can't stand it anymore and bags both of their wares effortlessly.)

Bill: The eggs always go on top!

WordGirl: (gasps) It's you! You're the Masked Bagger!

Bill: (nervously) No! I'm not! I've never even heard of the Masked Bagger!

WordGirl: If that's true, put the eggs in the bottom of the bag.

Bill: Sure... No... problem, WordGirl. (prepares to put the eggs in an empty bag as WordGirl watches him intently) Um... Uh... No! No! I can't do it! The eggs always go on top! I admit it! I am the Masked Bagger! Or I was, a long, long time ago.

WordGirl: Well, what happened? Why did you stop being a supervillain?

Bill: Well, I tried being a supervillain for a little while, but I felt bad about the stealing, and I really only did it because I enjoyed bagging things.

WordGirl: And you swear you gave up your life of crime?

Bill: Indeed I did. I even returned everything I ever stole!

WordGirl: Except one thing! (grabs him)

(Scene: Hal Hardbargain's Super Villain Supply Shop. Hal is holding the bag blaster, but quickly hides it when he hears WordGirl.)

WordGirl: Here he is, Hal! We caught the Masked Bagger!

Bill: I tell you, I never stole that bag blaster!

Hal: I can't believe it! The Masked Bagger, in my store!

WordGirl: Why are you so excited to meet the guy who stole from you? (Captain Huggy Face squeaks and points out the photo of the Masked Bagger. He rips away a paper mask and costume attached to the person in the photo, a thuggish-looking person wearing a pearl necklace.) Who is that?

Hal: Who? Oh, um, that's my mother. (Captain Huggy Face drops the photo in disgust.)

WordGirl: Eww. Wait a minute! So you don't have a picture of the Masked Bagger?

Hal: (sighs) No. And he didn't steal the bag blaster. It wasn't stolen at all! (on the verge of tears) I just wanted you to find him and bring him here so I could get a photo of him to put on my little wall, and maybe give him the bag blaster for half price.

WordGirl: You mean you made me waste my whole day flying around to solve a crime that hadn't even been committed?!

Hal: (sighs) Guilty as charged. (sniffs) And I also lied about something else. I didn't always want to be a salesman! I wanted to be the Masked Bagger!

Bill: I'm so flattered!

Hal: I even made a duplicate of your costume! (shows Bill the costume and chuckles bashfully)

Bill: (takes it) Wow!

WordGirl: But I'm still going to have to take you to jail.

Hal: Awww... (gestures to Bill, who has put on the costume, over and throws a camera to WordGirl)

WordGirl: For now, cheese!

Bill: (says something muffled)

WordGirl: Huh?

Bill: (pulls down the costume) Aisle 6!

WordGirl: Oh. No, I mean, say, "Cheese!"

Hal and Bill: Cheese!

Bill: Cheese.

(WordGirl takes the photo, and the scene cuts to the Botsford residence.)

Becky: And done!

Mr. Botsford: (bursts in wearing both a nurse hat and a beekeeper's helmet) All right! Did you decide what you want to be?

Becky: Yes. When I grow up, I want to protect things like a security guard, supply people with useful stuff like a supply shop owner or a teacher, and bag bad guys like a grocery store clerk! Sort of. I also want to wear a really cool costume like, I don't know...

Mr. Botsford: (points to his hats) A nurse? Or a beekeeper? Or how about a nurse who keeps bees?

Becky: Uh, sure.

Mr. Botsford: (chuckles) Wow. You might as well have said you wanted to be WordGirl!

Becky: WordGirl?! Don't be silly, dad! That's cuckoo crazy!

Mr. Botsford: I know! I mean... (walks off)

(The Narrator says something muffled.)

Becky: What?

Narrator: Sorry. Heh. Just testing out my new flashback protection helmet. I... think I had it on backwards. (clears his throat) The unmuffled translation or what I just said is: Join us next time for another thrilling episode of (muffled) WordGirl!

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