The Good Old, Bad Old Days/Transcript

The scene opens with a bright sun. Scoops watches the sun using a telescope.

The narrator continues IT'S ANOTHER BEAUTIFUL, BRIGHT SUNDAY MORNING, WHICH IS GREAT! UNLESS YOU'RE OUT LOOKING FOR STARS.

Scoops says SEE ANYTHING YET?

Becky says SCOOPS, I KNOW WE HAVE TO FINISH OUR STAR CHART FOR SCHOOL, BUT WE'RE NOT GOING TO SEE ANY STARS NOW. IT'S TOO EARLY.

Scoops says YOU'RE RIGHT, YOU'RE RIGHT. HOW ABOUT NOW? [Huggy squealing]

Becky says RELAX. WE JUST NEED ONE CLEAR NIGHT...

Butcher passes next to them running. He has a book in his hands.

Butcher says WATCH OUT! COMING THROUGH! LOOK ALIVE ON THE SIDEWALK! YEAH! HEY HEY!

Butcher magically covers a police car with pieces of meat.

Butcher says NO ONE CAN STOP ME NOW!

Becky says COME ON, BOB, WORD UP!

Becky and Bob turns into Word Girl and Huggyface.

Sheldon appears. He has gray hair, a moustache and glasses. He wears a light blue shirt with a blue bow, and brown trousers with suspenders.

Sheldon says STOP, THIEF. HE TOOK MY BOOK. DID YOU KIDS SEE A REALLY BIG GUY RUN PAST HERE? LOOKED LIKE A BUTCHER?

Scoops says YOU MEAN THE BUTCHER?

Sheldon says THAT'S HIM. HE STOLE A VERY IMPORTANT BOOK FROM ME, AND I NEED TO GET IT BACK. CAN YOU HELP? OH, SORRY... SHELDON, SHELDON ZELMAN.

Word Girl says THIS SHOULDN'T TAKE TOO LONG; WORD UP!

The narrator says MOMENTS LATER AT THE MUSEUM...

Butcher watches at a piece of the museum rubbing his hands.

Butcher says MISSING SAUSAGE LINKS. WHOA HO, BREAKFAST IS SERVED!

Word Girl appears and says MORE LIKE JUSTICE IS SERVED.

Butcher says WORD GIRL! GOOD ONE!

Word Girl says THANKS. NOW, STEP AWAY FROM THE SAUSAGES AND PUT YOUR HANDS UP.

Butcher says UH... NAH, I DON'T FEEL LIKE IT.

Word Girl says DON'T FEEL LIKE IT? WHAT DO YOU MEAN, YOU DON'T FEEL LIKE IT? THIS IS HOW WE ALWAYS DO IT.

Butcher opens the books and reads "HOW TO DEFEAT A PESKY SUPERHERO. STEP ONE, FIRST, TAKE CARE OF THE SIDEKICK WITH THE BIG MOUTH." OKAY. HAM!

Word Girl says REMEMBER LAST WEEK AT THE BANK?

A huge piece of meats falls over Huggy. He squeals.

Word Girl says HUH?

Butcher says NOW, IF YOU'LL EXCLUSE ME. SWEETISH MEATBALL SURPRISE!

Butches fires meatballs towards Word Girl.

Word Girl says THE WORD IS EXCUSE, AND... WHOA!

Butcher says WELL, TOODLE-OO!

Word Girl says OOF!

Butcher leaves and Scoops appears.

Scoops says DID YOU CATCH THE BUTCHER?

Word Girl says NO, HE GOT AWAY. I WONDER WHAT'S SO SPECIAL ABOUT THAT BOOK? HEY, WHERE'S SHELDON?

Scoops says OH, HE SAID HE HAD TO GO CATCH A BUS. HE LEFT YOU A NOTE.

Sheldon ‘s note reads LISTEN, IF YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT'S SO SPECIAL ABOUT THAT BOOK, COME DOWN TO THE HOME FOR RETIRED HEROES AND VILLAINS TODAY AT LUNCH TIME. OH, AND BRING SOUP.

Word Girl says BRING SOUP?

Scoops says SO, WANT TO GET STARTED ON THAT STAR CHART?

Word Girl says JUST START WITHOUT ME. I'LL MAKE IT UP TO YOU, SCOOPS, I PROMISE. HERE, HUGGY CAN HELP UNTIL I GET BACK. SURE YOU CAN. Huggy squeals

The narrator says LATER...

Word Girl meets Sheldon in what it looks like an asylum. Sheldon sits on a table, playing with cards.

Word Girl says UH... HELLO!

Sheldon says DID YOU BRING THE SOUP?

Word Girl puts a can of soup over the table.

Sheldon says MYRON, COME SEE WHAT THE KID BROUGHT!

Myron appears. He has long gray hair and wears a brown housecoat and slippers. He’s in a wheelchair. He has a blue old peacock on one of the arms of the wheelchair.

Myron says I'M COMING, I'M COMING.

Sheldon says SO, FIRST OFF, HARD TO BELIEVE IT'S REALLY ME, RIGHT? [chuckling]

Word Girl says UH...

Sheldon says I AM THE BLUE BLAZER! [coughing]

Sheldon says YOU NEVER HEARD OF ME? COME ON, THE BLUE BLAZER? I WAS ONE OF THE MOST DANGEROUS VILLAINS IN THE WHOLE CITY.

Word Girl says GUESS IT WAS A LITTLE BEFORE MY TIME.

Myron says HA, I TOLD YOU SHE WOULDN'T KNOW. SHE HAS NO IDEA WHO YOU ARE.

Sheldon says YOU BE QUIET.

Myron says I HAVE TO LIVE WITH THIS GUY.

Sheldon says WORD GIRL, MEET MY LONG TIME RIVAL, AND ONE OF THE BIGGEST, BRAVEST SUPERHEROES YOU'LL EVER MEET. RAZZMATAZZ.

Myron says YOU CAN CALL ME RAZ. OR MYRON. MYRON ROSENSTOCK.

Word Girl says I'M REALLY SORRY I HAVEN'T HEARD OF YOU GUYS, BUT I'D LOVE TO LEARN MORE ABOUT YOUR HISTORY, IF YOU'D CARE TO REMINISCE.

Sheldon says EVEN BETTER. WE'LL TELL YOU A SUPER, TERRIFIC STORY FROM BACK IN THE OLD DAYS.

Word Girl says WELL, THAT'S WHAT IT MEANS, TO REMINISCE. IT'S KIND OF A DREAMY WAY OF SAYING TO TALK ABOUT THINGS FROM THE PAST.

Sheldon says WELL, WE DO THAT ALL THE TIME. MYRON, LET'S REMINISCE.

Myron says OKAY. I REMEMBER IT... SHELDON, GET OUT OF THE WAY. I REMEMBER IT LIKE IT WAS YESTERDAY.

The screen turns as if it were the page of a book. Comic book stripes show images of Myron and Sheldon in their youth.

Myron says I WAS JUST LEAVING THE DELI WITH SOME NICE FRESH BAGELS, WHEN SUDDENLY, I SEE THIS ONE, THE BLUE BLAZER TRYING TO ROB AN ARMOURED CAR.

Sheldon says HE WAS JUST GOING TO GIVE ALL THAT MONEY TO THE BANK. OH, WHAT A WASTE!

Myron says SHELDON, NOW YOU'RE MISTER BIG TIME STORY TELLER? SO, I SPRANG INTO ACTION. AND RAZZMATAZZ, I TOOK OUT THE EVIL BLUE BLAZER WITH ONE FELL SWOOP, LEAVING HIM EMPTY HANDED.

Word Girl says WOW, THAT'S A GREAT STORY, GUYS. BUT I STILL HAVE TO CATCH THE BUTCHER AND FINISH MY HOMEWORK, SO MAYBE YOU CAN TELL ME MORE ABOUT THIS MISSING BOOK.

Sheldon says BOOK? OH, YES. I'M REMINISCING ABOUT ALL THE THINGS WE DID IN THE PAST, AND WRITING A BOOK ABOUT IT. THE BUTCHER, HE WAS HERE AT THE HOME FOR THE RETIRED HEROES AND VILLAINS TO SEE HIS DADDY.

Myron says OH, YES, KID POTATO. PRETTY GOOD GUY FOR A BAD GUY.

An image shows Sheldon sleeping of an armchair with an open book over his chest. Butcher grabs the book.

Sheldon says AND THEN, THE BUTCHER SNUCK IN HERE AND TOOK IT. HE REALLY GOT THE BEST OF YOU, HUH, KIDDO?

Word Girl says NO. IT JUST SEEMED LIKE HE HAD A BETTER PLAN THAN USUAL. AND JUST WHEN I WAS MAKING MY WHOLE... YOU'LL NEVER GET AWAY WITH THIS SPEECH, HE, WELL, HE GOT AWAY.

Sheldon and Myron laugh.

Word Girl says WHAT'S SO FUNNY?

Myron says HE PULLED THE OLD St. LOUIS TOODLE-OO. THAT'S TIP NUMBER ONE IN THE BOOK.

Word Girl says TIP NUMBER ONE? HEY, WHAT'S THIS BOOK OF YOURS CALLED ANYWAY?

Sheldon says HOW TO BEAT A SMARTY PANTS SUPERHERO AT HIS OR HER OWN GAME BY SHELDON ZELMAN, AND MYRON, WHO HELPED A LITTLE, BUT NOT REALLY.

Word Girl says WHAT? THIS IS A BOOK ABOUT HOW TO DEFEAT HEROES LIKE ME?

Myron says ALSO, I THINK MAYBE HE STOLE MY GLASSES.

Myron finds the glasses on his lap.

Myron says OH, NEVER MIND.

An alarm rings.

Word Girl says AN ALARM AT THE... MUSEUM OF ENORMOUS METAL FOOD? WHEN DID THAT OPEN?

Sheldon says LAST WEEK.

Myron says THEY'RE ABOUT TO DISPLAY THE PRICELESS GOLDEN BRISKET.

Word Girl says GUYS, I'M GONNA GO GET THAT BOOK. WORD UP!

Now, Butcher is at the museum. He has the book in one hand and with the other hand he’s spreading butter on the floor.

Butcher says TIP NUMBER 22, APPLY A LITTLE BUTTER TO THE SCENE OF THE CRIME TO HELP GREASE YOUR GETAWAY.

Word Girl appears and slip up on the butter.

Word Girl says NOT SO FAST, BUTCHER-OH!

Butcher laughs and says WHOA, MAN, THIS BOOK IS THE GREATEST!

Butcher escapes.

Word Girl says UGH! THIS IS RIDICULOUS. WORD... WHOAA!

Back in the home for retired heroes and villains, Word Girl sits on the table with Sheldon and Myron.

Sheldon says SO HE USED THE OLD BUTTER ON THE FLOOR TRICK, HEY?

Myron says THE CHATTANOOGA TURN AROUND... A CLASSIC.

Word Girl says LISTEN, I'M RUNNING PRETTY SHORT ON TIME. ARE YOU SURE THERE AREN'T ANY TIPS OR TRICKS IN YOUR BOOK THAT WOULD HELP ME OUT? YOU KNOW, LIKE IN YOUR STORY, THE CLEVER WAY RAZZMATAZZ DEFEATED THE EVIL BLUE BLAZER?

Sheldon says EVIL BLUE BLAZER?

Myron says HUH? IS THAT WHAT WE TOLD YOU? HMM. NO, NO, NO, YOU'VE GOT IT BACKWARDS. YOU WERE THE GOOD GUY, I WAS THE VILLAIN. I THINK.

Word Girl says WAIT, WHAT?

Sheldon says HMM... THE BLUE BLAZER. THAT CERTAINLY SOUNDS LIKE A GOOD GUY, DOESN'T IT?

Word Girl says ARE YOU TWO SERIOUS? I'VE GOT TO SAY, IT SOUNDS LIKE YOUR MEMORIES ARE A LITTLE HAZY.

Sheldon says HAZY? I NEVER HEARD SUCH A WORD. WHAT'S WITH THIS HAZY?

Word Girl says HAZY MEANS SOMETHING IS HARD TO SEE, HARD TO UNDERSTAND, OR NOT CLEAR. FOR EXAMPLE, THE DETAILS OF YOUR STORY KEEP CHANGING. IT'S NOT CLEAR WHAT THE REAL STORY IS, SO IT'S HAZY. OR LIKE THE CLOUDS IN THE SKY RIGHT NOW. EVEN THOUGH IT'S GETTING DARK, WE CAN'T SEE ANY STARS BECAUSE IT'S TOO HAZY.

Sheldon says AH, NOW I GET IT. CRYSTAL CLEAR.

Myron says SHE'S VERY TALENTED WITH WORDS.

A radio with the shape of a skull rests on the table. A radio announcer says THIS JUST IN. THE BUTCHER HAS BEEN SPOTTED AT THE BRAND NEW MUSEUM OF ENORMOUS METAL THAT GOES UNDER FOOD, HOME OF THE WORLD-FAMOUS, STUPENDOUS SILVER SERVING PLATTER.

Myron says THAT WOULD LOOK GREAT UNDER THE GOLDEN BRISKET.

Word Girl says OH!

The radio announcer says NOW, BACK TO THE HITS. [rock music plays]

Word Girl says YOU GUYS HAVE BEEN PRETTY MUCH NO HELP AT ALL.

Myron says I SAID SOMETHING WRONG?

Word Girl says SO UNLESS YOU HAVE A TIP THAT WOULD ACTUALLY HELP ME...

Sheldon says WELL, WHEN YOU GET THERE, WATCH OUT FOR A BUCKET OF LIVER AND ONIONS OVER THE FRONT DOOR.

Myron says HA HA... CLASSIC!

Word Girl says YEAH, CLASSIC. WORD UP.

Word Girl finds Butcher in the museum.

Word Girl says AHA!

Butcher says WORD GIRL. BOY, AM I HAPPY TO SEE YOU.

Word Girl says HANG ON. YOU'RE HAPPY TO SEE ME? WHY? ARE YOU FAKING?

Butcher says NO, NO, I'M NOT. I WANT TO TURN MYSELF IN. THIS IS NO FUN ANYMORE.

Word Girl says WAIT A MINUTE, HOW DO I KNOW THIS ISN'T ANOTHER TRICK FROM YOUR TRICKY BOOK OF, YOU KNOW, TRICKS?

Butcher says BECAUSE I'M ALL OUT OF TRICKY TRICKS. THE BOOK WASN'T FINISHED.

Sheldon and Myron appear dress up as Blue Blazer and Razzmatazz. Sheldon wears a blue blazer, a blue mask and a blue crown. Myron wears a tight fitting purple suit. He’s in a flying wheelchair with his peacock.

Sheldon says OH, GOOD, SHE'S STILL HERE. MYRON, SHE'S STILL HERE.

Myron says WHO'S STILL WHERE NOW? OH, RIGHT, THE GIRL WITH THE WORD.

Word Girl says OH, GREAT, YOU GUYS. LISTEN, IT'S NICE TO SEE YOU AND ALL, BUT I'M REALLY LATE.

Word Girl ties up Butcher with ropes and gets the book back.

She says SO HERE'S YOUR BOOK BACK. PLUS, I HAVE TO SAY, HOW TO BEAT SUPERHEROES, NOT MY FAVOURITE SUBJECT.

Butcher says YEAH, AND THE ENDING STINKS.

Myron says EVERYONE'S A CRITIC.

Sheldon says WORD GIRL, THAT'S WHY WE CAME BY. YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT. OUR STORY WAS A LITTLE HAZY.

Myron says WE FINALLY FIGURED IT OUT. WE WERE BOTH BAD GUYS.

Sheldon says YEAH, BOTH OF US. BUT I WAS WORSE.

Myron says OH, WAY WORSE.

Word Girl says WAIT, WHAT?

Myron says YES. THE BLUE BLAZER AND RAZZMATAZZ, WE WERE A TEAM OF EVIL SUPER VILLAINS. WE BOTH ROBBED THE ARMOURED CAR.

Sheldon says BUT THEN WE WERE CAUGHT BY THE PEPPERMINT KID, A SUPERHERO JUST LIKE YOU.

Myron says AT LEAST I THINK WE WERE.

Sheldon says IT WAS AN AWFULLY LONG TIME AGO.

Word Girl says OH, YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME.

The narrator says AND SO, WITH ANOTHER CRIMINAL BROUGHT TO JUSTICE, AND A VERY OLD STORY FINALLY MADE A LITTLE LESS HAZY, BECKY AND SCOOPS CAN FINALLY TURN THEIR ATTENTION TO THE CLEAR NIGHT SKY AND FILL UP THEIR STAR CHARTS WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM ABOVE.

Now, Word Girl hugs Huggy and Scoops and flies with them up into the black sky.

The narrator continues REMEMBER, IF YOU WANT SOMETHING FUN AND EXCITING TO REMINISCE ABOUT ALL WEEK LONG, BE SURE TO TUNE IN TO THE NEXT STUPENDOUS, STAR-STUDDED EPISODE OF "WORD GIRL." AND BRING SOUP.