Eight Legs Vs. Two-Brains/Transcript

The episode opens with a tarantula climbing on top of a school

The narrator says AHH, IT'S ANOTHER SAFE AND PLEASANT DAY AT - [scream] A SPIDER!

A hand picks up the spider. Ms. Arachnid picks up the tarantula from a terrarium with a miniature school building inside. She is an old woman with thick glasses and long grey hair. she wears a long black dress with a white collar

Ms. Arachnid says HELLO, AGAIN, MY DARLING, TWO-EYED, TWO-LEGGED, HOMOSAPIENS. THAT MEANS PEOPLE. [nerdy laughter] [Music Plays] I SEE YOU'VE ALL BEEN TAKING GOOD CARE OF SHAGGY THE TARANTULA.

The class frowns

Ms. Arachnid continues DID YOU KNOW THAT SHAGGY HERE IS OLDER THAN MOST OF YOU? AND WITH THE PROPER CARE, HE CAN LIVE TO BE UP TO 20 YEARS OLD!

Violet waves her arms and says OOHH!

Ms. Arachnid says UNFORTUNATELY, THIS IS SHAGGY'S LAST WEEKEND WITH YOUR CLASS.

Violet says AWWW!

The class smiles

Ms. Arachnid says ON MONDAY, I TAKE HIM BACK TO THE TARANTULA FARM, WHERE HE'S FREE TO ROAM AROUND IN HIS NATURAL HABITAT.

Becky gags and says I KNOW I WONT MISS THAT CREEPY, CRAWLY THING. UGGHH.

Violet says WHY? WHAT'S NOT TO LIKE ABOUT HIM?

Becky says WELL... HE'S A SPIDER, SO.

Violet says OH, I FORGOT, YOU'RE AFRAID OF CUTE LITTLE CREATURES THAT ARE 500 TIMES SMALLER THAN YOU.

Ms. Arachnid says AND THE LUCKY STUDENT WHO GETS TO TAKE THE SPIDER HOME FOR ITS LAST WEEKEND IS... BECKY BOTSFORD!

The tarantula jumps onto Becky’s desk. It crawls towards her She screams and jumps under the desk

Violet puts her hand out. The tarantula climbs onto her arm

Violet says AWWW!

Becky begs VIOLET, TAKE MY TURN, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE!

Violet says SURE, BECKY, I'D LOVE TO.

The tarantula is now on her head

Violet raises her hand and says I VOLUNTEER TO TAKE SHAGGY HOME SO BECKY DOES NOT HAVE TO.

Becky climbs out from underneath her desk and says THAT'S A GREAT IDEA, VIOLET, BECAUSE I'M NOT SURE I'D BE ABLE TO DO A GOOD JOB. I'M TOO BUSY.

Ms. Arachnid says I'M SORRY, BECKY, VIOLET CAN'T VOLUNTEER FOR YOU. OBSERVING THE SPIDER OVER THE WEEKEND IS A PART OF A CLASS ASSIGNMENT, AND EVERYONE ELSE HAS HAD A TURN, SO THERE'S NO GETTING OUT OF IT.

Becky groans

Ms. Arachnid says THE ASSIGNMENT IS TO OBSERVE SHAGGY THE TARANTULA OVER THE WEEKEND AND COMPLETE THREE DRAWINGS OF HIM IN HIS HABITAT.

Becky says GROSS.

Ms. Arachnid says THERE'S NOTHING TO BE SCARED OF, BECKY. JUST THINK OF HIM LIKE A SHAGGY LITTLE DOG... WITH FOUR EXTRA LEGS. [nerdy laughter] [Music Plays] WELL, GOODBYE.

She walks out of the classroom The Narrator says LATER...

The scene shows kids walking out of school

Becky holds a small blue terrarium far from her body and says HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO FIGHT CRIME AND TAKE CARE OF A SCARY TARANTULA?

Bob says AHH, AHH.

Becky says HE'S PROBABLY PLANNING HIS ESCAPE FROM THAT HABITAT AS WE SPEAK.

An image flashes of the tarantula scratching its head [echoes of evil laughter]

Becky gasps SOUNDS LIKE TROUBLE. I GUESS SHAGGY'S COMING WITH US, BOB. HOW ABOUT YOU CARRY HIM FIRST? NO BACKSIES!

She throws the cage and runs off. Bob catches the cage and squeals

Becky shouts WORD UP!

The Narrator says MEANWHILE, AT A FARM NEAR THE OUTSKIRTS OF TOWN, Dr. TWO-BRAINS AND HIS HENCHMEN ARE UP TO...

The image changes to the inside of a barn. Dr. Two-Brains in farmer’s clothes Dr. Two-Brains says A LITTLE TO THE RIGHT. NO, NOT THAT RIGHT, YOUR OTHER RIGHT!

Word Girl says UH... HUH?

A cow hoisted in the air is being moved by Henchman 1 and Henchman 2. They are also wearing farmer clothing

The Narrator says WELL, I'M SURE THEY'RE UP TO SOMETHING EVIL.

Dr. Two-Brains says OKAY, OKAY, STOP! NOW, SQUEEZE!

He stands behind a yellow ray beam. Henchman 1 squeezes one of the cow’s utters. Dr. Two-Brains fires his ray gun. The beam hits the milk mid-air and turns it into cheese

Word Girl says AHEM. WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO THAT COW?

Dr. Two-Brains says ISN'T IT OBVIOUS? [mooing]

Word Girl says NOT SO OBVIOUS.

Dr. Two-Brains says I'M USING MY CHEESE RAY TO TURN ITS MILK INTO DELICIOUS, SCRUMPTIOUS, GOOEY, RUNNY, STRETCHY NACHO CHEESE! OOH, HOW IS IT?

An image flashes of a crate of nachos placed underneath the cow. They are covered in cheese.

Henchman 2 grabs a nacho and says MM, DUH-LICIOUS!

Dr. Two-Brains says OHH, GIMME ONE. [crunching] MMMM, TASTY! OH, THESE ARE GONNA BE BIG. WE'RE GONNA MAKE A LOT OF MONEY OFF OF THESE.

He holds up a chick and looks at World Girl. He asks WANT ONE?

Word Girl looks at the tarantula in its cage and says UGGHHH.

Dr. Two-Brains says WHAT, ARE YOU SCARED OF COWS OR SOMETHING?

Word Girl says UH, NO, I'M FINE! CAN WE GET BACK TO THE WHOLE ME STOPPING YOUR DIABOLICAL PLAN THING?

Dr. Two-Brains says UGH, FINE, IF YOU INSIST.

He shoots a miniature cheese ray around the barn. Word Girl and Huggy dodge the blasts as parts of the barn turn into cheese

Word Girl and Huggy land on a cheese beam up on the roof

Word Girl yells AHH! [rays zapping] AHHH, OH NO!

Huggy drops the cage. It lands on the ground

Word Girl gasps The tarantula uses a leg and lifts open the top of the cage and crawls out [Two-Brains screaming]

Dr. Two-Brains says IS THAT WHAT I THINK IT IS?!

Word Girl says A GIANT TARANTULA!? YES! [Music Plays]

Dr. Two-Brains stammers AND YOU'RE JUST CARRYING IT AROUND?

Word Girl exclaims I DIDN'T HAVE A CHOICE! [Music Plays]

Dr. Two-Brains says I'M GOING TO GET YOU - OH, MAN, I CAN'T EVEN LOOK AT IT!

He recoils

Henchman 1 says HEY, CHARLIE'S GOT A REALLY BIG FOOT. HE CAN STEP ON IT!

Word Girl says NO, DON'T STEP ON IT! The tarantula licks its lips

Dr. Two-Brains yells I THINK IT BIT ME; IT BIT ME! I THINK IT BIT ME!

Word Girl scratches at her body WAS IT CRAWLING ON ME? I FEEL LIKE IT WAS CRAWLING ON ME.

Huggy jumps down and picks up the tarantula. He places it back in its cage.

He squeals Word Girl lets out a sigh of relief

Word Girl says THANKS, CAPTAIN HUGGY FACE.

Dr. Two-Brains says WHAT DO YOU SAY WE PICK THIS UP LATER?

Word Girl says YEAH, LET'S RESCHEDULE. I NEED TO GO HOME AND TAKE A SHOWER.

Word Girl and Huggy fly out of the barn. Dr. Two-Brains and the Henchman ride of on the cow [mooing]

The Narrator says LATER THAT WEEKEND, AFTER SEVERAL SHOWERS AND TWO HOURS OF ZEN MEDITATION, BECKY REALIZES THAT FIGHTING CRIME, SPIDER-SITTING A GIANT TARANTULA, AND COMPLETING HER CLASS ASSIGNMENT ALL AT THE SAME TIME IS ACTUALLY JUST AS DIFFICULT AS IT SOUNDS.

The scene changes to Becky in her room. She wraps chains around the tarantula cage. She picks it up and walks to TJ’s room

The Narrator continues AND ALSO THAT HER BROTHER, TJ, HAS PROBABLY NEVER CLEANED HIS ROOM.

Becky says WHOA, TJ. YOUR HABITAT IS ALMOST AS SCARY AS SHAGGY.

TJ sits in the middle of his room reading. His floor is covered with clothes and toys

TJ says THANK YOU; I'M GLAD YOU LIKE MY HABITAT.

He scratches his chin and says I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE WORD HABITAT MEANS.

Becky explains OH, A HABITAT IS THE PLACE WHERE AN ANIMAL NORMALLY LIVES. SHAGGY'S NATURAL HABITAT IS THE DESERT. WELL, FOR NOW, IT'S THIS TRAVEL CONTAINER. AND YOUR HABITAT IS... HERE: A PIG PEN, WHICH IS ALSO A PIG'S HABITAT.

TJ retorts IF YOU THINK MY ROOM IS SO GROSS, WHY DON'T YOU GO BACK TO YOUR OWN HABITAT?

Becky says BECAUSE IF SHAGGY ESCAPES IN MY ROOM, I'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO GO IN THERE AGAIN. CAN I PLEASE DO MY TARANTULA ASSIGNMENT IN HERE?

TJ says OH, SO YOU'RE STILL SCARED OF SPIDERS?

Becky says I WOULDN'T SAY SCARED. THEY JUST MAKE ME...

She stammers UNCOMFORTABLE.

TJ says WELL, YOU SHOULDN'T BE CREEPED OUT BY THEM. SPIDERS ARE OUR FRIENDS.

Becky says I FIND THAT HARD TO BELIEVE.

TJ exclaims IT'S TRUE! THEY'RE AN IMPORTANT PART OF OUR NATURAL HABITAT.

Becky grimaces and says REALLY?

TJ says THINK ABOUT IT. A TARANTULA WILL GO AFTER INSECTS, AND SOME CAN EVEN TAKE DOWN A MOUSE, BUT HUMANS AREN'T THEIR ENEMIES.

Becky says TAKE DOWN A MOUSE?

She exclaims THAT GIVES ME AN IDEA! [echoes of evil laughter] AND JUST IN TIME! THANKS FOR ALL THE INFO, TJ, BUT I FORGOT THAT I VOLUNTEERED TO HELP AT THE FARMERS' MARKET. GOTTA GO!

She rushes out of the room with the tarantula. Bob walks by brushing his teeth in a pink towel. Becky grabs him on the way out

The Narrator says MEANWHILE, AT THE LOCAL FARMERS' MARKET, Dr. TWO-BRAINS' EVIL NACHO CHEESE SCHEME IS WELL UNDERWAY.

The scene changes to a large field covered in tents selling different food and fruit Dr. Two-Brains and his henchmen are standing underneath a yellow tent with a mouse on top

Henchman 2 says NACHOS! GET YOUR DELICIOUS NACHOS HERE! WE MADE IT WITH A RAY THAT WE ZAPPED AT A COW! [Music Plays]

Word Girl and Huggy fly into the tent

Dr. Two-Brains says WORD GIRL! I KNEW YOU'D SHOW UP SOONER OR LATER. MIGHT I INTEREST YOU IN SOME DELICIOUS NACHOS?

Word Girl says THIS ISN'T YOUR USUAL BAD GUY STUFF. WHAT'S THE DEAL?

Dr. Two-Brains says HEY, THESE RAY GUNS DON'T PAY FOR THEMSELVES. AND NACHOS ARE A VERY HOT SNACK ITEM RIGHT NOW. SURE YOU DON'T WANT ONE?

Huggy says AHH AHH AHH.

Word Girl says ALL RIGHT, THIS HAS GONE ON LONG ENOUGH, TWO-BRAINS! THAT COW DIDN'T VOLUNTEER TO HELP YOU DO THIS.

The cow moos

Word Girl continues YOU CAN'T JUST STEAL HELPLESS ANIMALS FROM THEIR HABITATS AND USE THEM IN YOUR EVIL PLANS.

She exclaims UNHAND THAT COW!

Dr. Two-Brains says I'M SORRY, MISS, BUT YOU'RE DISTURBING THE PAYING CUSTOMERS. I'M GOING TO HAVE TO ASK THAT YOU LEAVE.

She holds up his ray gun and starts firing

Word Girl says WHOA!

She dodges the ray beam and picks up the cow

Dr. Two-Brains exclaims HEY, THAT'S MY COW!

Word Girl says NOT ANYMORE! NOW, HUGGY!

Dr. Two-Brains fires his ray gun Huggy drops the tarantula cage as the cow falls on top of Word Girl. Dr. Two-Brains laughs. Word Girl shrieks as she picks up the tarantula from its cage. it wears a red cap just like Huggy’s. She throws it towards Dr. Two-Brains and the henchmen

Henchman 1 says OH NO, HE'S BACK!

Dr. Two-Brains screams AHHHH!! WHAT'S THAT THING DOING HERE?

Word Girl says MEET MY NEW SIDEKICK, SHAGGY.

Huggy glares at Word Girl [angry squeaks]

Word Girl says RIGHT, NEW ASSISTANT SIDEKICK.

Henchman 2 says UHH, I JUST REMEMBERED THAT CHARLIE AND I VOLUNTEERED TO HELP MY FRIEND MOVE TODAY.

Dr. Two-Brains says WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU VOLUNTEERED?

Word Girl explains THE WORD VOLUNTEER MEANS TO OFFER YOUR HELP TO SOMEONE WHO NEEDS IT.

Dr. Two-Brains says OH, YOU MEAN THE WAY MY HENCHMEN VOLUNTEER TO DO MY LAUNDRY EVERY WEEK?

Henchman 2 says NO, YOU FORCE US TO DO THAT.

Word Girl says I ALWAYS VOLUNTEER TO HELP THE CITIZENS OF THE CITY BY PUTTING AN END TO YOUR CHEESY PLANS.

Dr. Two-Brains says OH, SO YOU VOLUNTEER TO FIGHT CRIME? HMM; I ALWAYS THOUGHT THE CITY HAD YOU ON SALARY. GO FIGURE. ANYWAY, THAT'S VERY NICE OF YOU GUYS TO HELP OUT A FRIEND, BUT WHAT ABOUT ME? WE'VE BEEN PLANNING THIS NACHO CHEESE THING FOR AGES!

Henchman 2 says SORRY, BOSS, BUT YOU KNOW HOW IT IS. I HAVE A TRUCK.

Dr. Two-Brains says YOU HAVE A TRUCK?

The henchmen climb into a blue truck. Henchman 2 starts the engine and drives off

Word Girl says AHEM. [Music Plays] Shaggy moves forward one step. Dr. Two-Brains screams

Dr. Two-Brains says MAKE IT STOP! MAKE IT GO AWAY! DON'T COME ANY CLOSER! AHHHHH!

He huddles in a corner.

Word Girl says IT'S NOT EVEN DOING ANYTHING.

The Narrator says IT LOOKS LIKE Dr. TWO-BRAINS IS STUCK BETWEEN A ROCK AND A HUGE, HAIRY EIGHT-LEGGED SPIDER.

Dr. Two-Brains begs OKAY, YOU WIN! CALL IT OFF! I SURRENDER! JUST TAKE IT AWAY! OH, PLEEEEASE!

Word Girl says OKAY, OKAY, HERE YA GO, LITTLE BUDDY! BACK IN YOUR HABITAT.

She climbs from underneath the cow and picks up Shaggy.

Word Girl says WOO! I USED TO BE SCARED, TOO, BUT THE MORE YOU KNOW ABOUT THEM, THE LESS SCARY THEY GET. AHHH... HIGH FIVE, SHAGGY!

Shaggy raises his legs

Word Girl says UH, I MEAN, HIGH EIGHT? [Music Plays]

The Narrator says AS BECKY'S TIME WITH SHAGGY DRAWS TO AN END, THEY PREPARE TO GIVE THEIR TEAR-FILLED GOODBYES. EWWWWW!

The image changes to Becky in class. She is at her desk drawing. Shaggy looks up her through a hole in his habitat. His eight eyes are filled with tears

Becky says I'M GOING TO MISS YOU, SHAGGY, OLD BUDDY, OLD PAL; WE SURE HAVE BEEN THROUGH A LOT.

Violet says WOW, BECKY; YOU AND SHAGGY REALLY HIT IT OFF.

An image shows Becky’s drawing of her holding up Shaggy

Ms. Arachnid says EXCELLENT, ANOTHER FRIEND HAS BEEN CAUGHT IN SHAGGY'S WEB OF WONDER AND AFFECTION. [nerdy laughter] [Music Plays]

Becky says WELL, I NEVER THOUGHT I'D SAY THIS, BUT I LOVE THAT TARANTULA. WELL, MAYBE NOT LOVE, BUT I CAN TOUCH HIM!

She pets Shaggy

Ms. Arachnid says MAYBE YOU'LL HAVE YOUR OWN PET TARANTULA ONE DAY?

Becky says YEAAAAH, NO. BUT WHO KNOWS? IF HE EVER COMES BACK TO VISIT, I MIGHT EVEN VOLUNTEER TO WATCH HIM. YOU NEVER KNOW WHEN A GIANT TARANTULA MIGHT COME IN HANDY.

Shaggy waves a hand at Becky as Ms. Arachnid places him on a cart and wheels him away

The Narrator says AND SO, ONCE AGAIN, WORD GIRL - AND HER NEW EIGHT-LEGGED FRIEND - HAVE SAVED THE DAY BY VOLUNTEERING THEIR CRIME FIGHTING SERVICES TO A CITY IN NEED, AND RETURNING A STOLEN COW TO ITS NATURAL HABITAT.

An image flashes of the cow eating hay

The Narrator continues YES, EVERYTHING IS BACK TO NORMAL... FOR NOW. TUNE IN NEXT TIME FOR ANOTHER EXCITING ADVENTURE OF... WORD GIRL!

A bald man walks into the classroom. He has a giant orange snake around his neck. [hissing]