Banned on the Run/Transcript

Transcript for Banned on the Run
(Scene: Outside city hall.)

Narrator: At the twenty-third annual Plastic Cup-Throwing Festival…

Mayor: And as is tradition, I will officially begin the festivities with the ceremonial throwing of the plastic cup!

(The crowd cheers. But before the Mayor can throw the cup, Mr. Big steps up to the front, wearing a top hat and a mustache as a thinly-veiled disguise. Everyone gasps.)

Mr. Big: WAIT! I challenge you, Mr. Mayor, to a plastic cup throwing contest! (Everyone gasps again.)

Man: Really!

Becky: Bob, does that mysterious man look familiar to you too?

Mayor: Why, I-- I’ve never been challenged to a plastic cup throwing contest!

Mr. Big: Oh, Mr. Mayor, I think you’ll agree to the challenge.

(Leslie, also in “disguise” wearing a mustache and wig, presses a button on a remote giving off a mind control signal. The mayor is hypnotized by the mind control.)

Mayor: (in a robotic voice) I accept your challenge. And if you win, I will give you complete control of the entire city.

(Everyone gasps again.)

Becky: Wait a second! The mayor can’t give someone control over the city!

Narrator: Actually, he can! It’s one of the town laws.

(Leslie give Mr. Big a plastic cup.)

Mr. Big: Whenever you’re ready, Mister Mayor… (stands back)

Mayor: On your marks, get set-- throw. (He drops his cup and it falls at his feet.) Yeah. Score. Beat that.

Becky: The mayor is acting awfully strange…

(Mr. Big throws his cup, and it lands in front of the mayor’s.  Everyone gasps once again.)

Mayor: It looks like you have won, mysterious opponent. You now have total control of the city. I am no longer mayor, and I will leave now. Goodbye.

(The people in the crowd start talking amongst themselves, confused.)

Mr. Big: Ha-ha-ha! Success! Thank you, former mayor, for turning over the city to me! (He removes the disguise) Mr. Big!

(Everyone gasps again. Oak Street lady faints.)

Man: Really!

Becky: I knew it!

Mr. Big: Yes, I, Mayor Big shall restore this fair city to its former glory! (More talking among the crowd.) There’s a new mayor in town!

Becky: Look like this is a job for WordGirl! (Huggy chatters.) Well, of course. Captain Huggy Face too, I mean, it’s implied. Word UP! (transforms)

(Scene: Later at City Hall. The sky is ominously dark and it is raining.)

Mr. Big: As usual, my plan worked perfectly, Leslie. This whole city is under my control!

Leslie: Congratulations sir. But um, may I ask why you’re still wearing that hat?

Mr. Big: Oh, this? Well I thought all mayors wore top hats.

Leslie: No sir.

Mr. Big: Oh. I’m still gonna wear it. I- It keeps my hair warm.

WordGirl: Well, it won’t keep you warm… in jail! Give up control of this city right now!

Mr. Big: My, WordGirl, you certainly have a way with entrances! Now let’s see how you do with exits! Bye bye!

WordGirl: We’re not leaving until you admit you cheated to become mayor!

Mr. Big: (laughs) Cheated? Why, I would never!

WordGIrl: Oh, please! We know you used your special mind control device to control the mayor and force him to lose that contest on purpose!

Mr. Big: Why, WordGirl, even if that were true, which it very well may be, you have no proof!

WordGirl: Oh, don’t worry. We will. In time!

Mr. Big: Well then, I just better make sure you don’t have that time. As my first order of business, I hereby ban you and your hairy friend from the city!

Leslie: Uh, sir, your first order of business was ordering that pizza.

(A pizza delivery guy is standing by the door. Huggy stares at the pizza box with his tongue hanging out.)

Mr. Big: Oh, fiddle something. Yes, my second order of business as mayor is to ban you and that monkey from the city!

(Officer Jim and another officer enter the room. Huggy has grabbed a slice of pizza.)

WordGirl: (to officers) Wait! What are you-- Mr. Big is the bad guy!

Mr. Big: No, I’m the mayor. And that means the police have to do whatever I say. (clears throat, then proclaims in a loud voice) WordGirl and Captain Huggy Face, I hereby ban you from the city! (cackled to himself)

WordGirl: Uh, just to clarify, by ban you mean we can’t ever come here again?

Mr. Big: Yes. You two are no longer allowed to enter this city, yes. That is correct.

WordGirl: I was afraid of that.

Mr. Big: Ta-ta!

(WordGirl, Huggy, and the pizza delivery guy are escorted out while Mr. Big laughs.)

Mr. Big: (to himself) With those two out of the way, I’m free to do whatever I want with this city!

(Scene: Above the city, a plane carries a Mr. Big banner behind it. On the street below, Becky and Bob are walking together.)

Becky: We have to prove Mr. Big used mind control to take over the city! (Huggy chatters.) I know WordGirl and Captain Huggy Face are banned, but Becky and Bob aren’t! It’s up to us to save the day!

(While walking past a giant poster of Mr. Big, they run into Scoops.)

Becky: Hey, Scoops! (pause) Why so down?

Scoops: Oh, I’m off to Mr. Big’s office to write another glowing story about him.

Becky: Why would you write nice stories about Mr. Big? He’s terrible!

Scoops: He passed a law banning negative stories about him. So, I can only write about all the wonderful things he’s doing. (Holds up a copy of the paper.)

Becky: (reading) “Mr. Big discovers the moon”?

Scoops: I worry the reputation of the Daily Rag will never be restored.

(Mr. Big’s voice comes over a loudspeaker, and his image appears on a big-screen TV in the town square.)

Mr. Big: Attention, loyal subjects! It is I, Mayor Mr. Big! Because I am the mayor, and you must do everything I say, I will now read you the new laws I’ve created. (clears throat, Scoops starts to take notes.) Number one-- no one shall blink for the next thirty minutes! Number two-- let’s make that the next forty minutes. And number three-- instead of saying “hello”, people will now greet one another by quacking, then hopping on one foot and saying “raspberries”. That is all!

Becky: All these laws are outrageous!

Scoops: Well they are, but everyone in this town has to abide by them. Mr. Big is the law!

(Mr. Botsford approaches.)

Becky: Hey, Dad!

Mr. Botsford: (following the new instructions) Quack, Quack. (hops on one foot) Raspberries.

Becky: What’s wrong?

Mr. Botsford: Mr. Big liked my favorite tie so much, he… he took it! (starts crying) He’s so mean!

Narrator: (sighs) Taking a man’s tie. That’s low.

Mr. Botsford: The worst part is, with WordGirl banned from the city, there’s no one to stop Mr. Big. And get back my favorite tie! (Cries more) If your mother asks, I’ll be at the tie store, trying to replace Murray.

Narrator: Murray?

Becky: He names all his ties. It’s strange.

Scoops: Well, I have to get back to work. Mr. Big is excited to tell everyone about how he invented ham.

(Becky thinks for a moment, then signals to Bob.)

Becky: Come on, Bob. Becky Botsford has an idea!

(Scene: The mayor’s office. Mr. Big has two flunkies attending to him while Scoops stands next to the desk. A woman is filing his nails, and a man starts massaging his chin.)

Mr. Big: Okay, let’s see… what new law will make everyone miserable? Oh, I’ve got it! Thank you, Jeremy. From now on, Tuesday will be called Wednesday, and Wednesday will be called Froggy Ping-Pong. Let the people know.

(Leslie comes in carrying an envelope.)

Leslie: Mr. Mayor sir, it’s here!

Mr. Big Oooh, gimme gimme gimme! (tears the envelope open) Oh, it is even more beautiful than I imagined! (He holds up a pink squishy bunny and presses it against his face.)

Scoops: What? It’s just a bunny.

Mr. Big: This, my clever little columnist, is much more than just a bunny! This is from Squishy Company Limited! This is the squishiest object that has ever existed on the planet earth, and it’s all mine!

Leslie: Here you go, sir. (holds up some papers)

Mr. Big: What is it? The population of the city?

Leslie: No, that’s the bill!

Mr. Big: Oh, my! This is ridiculous, I can’t possibly pay this! But everyone else in the city can! Mwah-ha-ha-ha! (clears throat) Scoops, let the people know.

Scoops: Aw--

Mr. Big: The best thing about this is with WordGirl banned from the city, there’s no one to stop me!

(Becky comes through the door.)

Becky: Uh, hi. I’m sorry to interrupt.

Mr. Big: Who are you?

Becky: I’m Becky. Um, I’m here to take over for Scoops.

Scoops: Hey! When did you get a job at the paper-- (she pushes him out of the way)

Mr. Big: I- I- I didn’t know someone was coming to replace my reporter!

Becky: Well, I’ve been dying to have the chance to talk with you, after all I’m such an enormous fan!

Mr. Big: Oh! Well, by all means, talk away.

Becky: Okay then… Mr. Big, you’re charming, charismatic, and a natural born leader. Do you feel that more than makes up for your lack of planning skills?

Mr. Big: Planning skills?

Becky: Yeah, you know… thinking ahead, figuring out what you’re going to do before you do it?

Mr. Big: Why-- I always think ahead.

Becky: Yeah, not buying it.

Mr. Big: Oh you don’t, do you?

Becky: Nope!

(She walks with him until they are standing next to the door.)

Mr. Big: So you don’t believe me, eh?

Becky: I just said I--

Mr. Big: So you’re saying, you don’t take the words I say as truth, correct?

Becky: How many times are you gonna ask that?

Mr. Big: Well, if you don’t believe me, take a look at this.

(He pulls a pocket calendar from his coat.)

Mr. Big: This is what I planned out for this past week. Monday, wake up, eat breakfast, count money, go to bed. (contemplating) That was a great day.

Becky: Hmm. I still don’t see any signs of real planning--

Mr. Big: Tuesday! Wake up, eat breakfast, use mind control device to defeat mayor in plastic cup throwing contest, and secure control of the city, count money, and go to bed. There, you happy?

Becky: Very! (shouting at door) Come on in!

(The Mayor, Sergeant Henderson, Officer Jim and a female officer come through the door.)

Becky: I’m sure you heard Mr. Big’s confession?

Mayor: Absolutely! Well, most of it-- uh, you see there was this really neat pidgeon out there! (laughs) Oh, I love pidgeons.

Becky: Oh, boy.

Mr. Big: Wa-- No, that wasn’t a confession. We were, uh-- we were, well we were practicing. For a play… I’m writing--- (sighs) oh, who am I kidding? I don’t write plays. I fixed that contest!

Mayor: Uh, Mr. Big, you no longer have the right to be mayor! Your power over this city is over! And I am officially restored as mayor! Yay!

Mr. Big: Congratulations on getting your old job back! Here, have a present!

(He hands the mayor the squishy bunny)

Mayor: Oh my, it’s so squishy! (The officers look at it with delight.) This is amazing! Hey Jen, come here, you gotta try this!

(While they are distracted, Mr. Big slips out through the door behind them.)

Becky: Uh-- he’s getting away! Anyone?

(All of them are still focused on the bunny, oblivious to everything else.)

Mayor: I know, it feels just like butter in a sock, doesn’t it?

Becky: Argh! Oh, forget it! (She grabs Huggy and moves away from them.) Maybe this is a job for WordGirl! (Huggy chatters angrily.) Yes, and Captain Huggy Face!

Mr. Big: (running through the hall laughing) Fools! Drawn in by the awesome power of the squishy!

(WordGirl arrives.)

WordGirl: Going somewhere?

Mr. Big: But-- you’re banned! From the city!

WordGirl: Yeah? Well, this ban just got lifted!

(Not knowing what else to do, Mr. Big shoves his top hat over WordGirl’s head and starts running. As he approaches the end of the hallway, WordGirl has managed to remove the hat and stands there with Huggy.)

WordGirl: Mr. Big looks a little thirsty, doesn’t he?

(She raises the top hat and throws it at a drinking fountain at the end of the hallway, striking the valve and spraying water at Mr. Big.)

WordGirl: Now, Huggy!

(Huggy holds out a trash container and catches Mr. Big inside of it.)

Mr. Big: Ah.

(Scene: Later, outside City Hall.)

Mayor: And so, I’d like to thank WordGirl and Captain Huggy Face for once again saving our city from a naughty, naughty man!

(The police carry Mr. Big past the crowd, and they start applauding.)

WordGirl: Well, we’re just happy the mayor lifted the ban and restored us as city superheroes!

(Mr. Botsford is at the front of the crowd, clapping and sobbing.)

WordGirl: Looks like there’s something ELSE that needs to be restored.

(She takes off, grabs the tie off of Mr. Big, and lands in front of her dad.)

WordGirl: I think this belongs to you. (She holds out the tie, and Mr. Botsford gasps.)

Mr. Botsford: Murray! Thank you, WordGirl!

WordGirl: Um, sure.

Mr. Botsford: (sobbing in her ear) You have no idea what it means-- (sobs more)

WordGirl: (pats him on the head) I’m just glad to help. (pulls her hand away, then backs away) Eww.

Narrator: Well, once again WordGirl and Captain Huggy Face have saved the day and restored the happy place it once was!

(She quickly rolls up the giant poster of Mr. Big, and replaces it with a picture of herself and Huggy.)

Narrator: Tune in next time for another amazing adventure of-- WordGirl!