Princess Triana and the Ogre of Castlebum/Transcript

Actual Episode Script
Click the link below to see a writer's draft of this episode, as submitted to Soup2Nuts! It's interesting to compare it to what actually aired. Some dialog was deleted, probably to keep the episode within the eleven minutes allotted.



Transcript for Princess Triana and the Ogre of Castlebum
(Scene: EXT. LIBRI’S BOOKSTORE)

(Becky, Bob and Mr. Botsford stand in a long line outside Libri’s Book Store. Becky wears a conical princess hat, and Bob wears a court jester’s hat with bells. Immediately in front of them are the Reginald the Jewelry Store Clerk, the Museum Curator, and other townspeople, some also dressed in costume as characters from the “Princess Triana” series.)

Narrator: One evening outside of the local bookstore, Becky Botsford and many of the city’s residents eagerly await the midnight release of “Princess Triana and the Ogre of Castlebum.”

Becky: Oh, this is so exciting! We’re finally going to find out what happens to Princess Triana.

Mr. Botsford: It feels like forever since the last book came out. The wait has been unbearable! (Bob squeaks in agreement.)

Becky: I know. I can't believe they just left poor Princess Triana hanging from a cliff like that!

Reginald: Wait, I thought she was being forced to marry that smelly Count.

Museum Curator: No, you're thinking of book four.

Reginald: (trying to save face) Yes, of course, I knew that. I've read it. Several times. And I've heard the book on tape. Several times.

Becky: (looking around) There sure are a lot of people in line...I hope they have enough copies...

(Bob squeaks.)

(IN THE PARKING LOT, we see Tobey walking up with his MOTHER.)

Tobey: (seeing the line) What?? This cannot be the line for the Princess Trianna book.

(A random guy speaks to him from the line.)

Guy #1: Oh yes it is. And the back of the line is down there.

(The guy points waaay down to the end of the line.)

Tobey: NO! There must be some mistake-- I'm early!

Guy #1: Not early enough, obviously.

Tobey: Oh, Mother, this is an outrage! (Tobey’s mother starts dragging him toward the back of the line.) You people are not supposed to be here!

(Meanwhile, Becky is talking to Ms. Libri, the owner of the bookstore.)

Becky: Hi Ms. Libri!

Ms. Libri: Hi Becky! How’s my best customer?

Becky: Anxious to get my hands on “Princess Triana and the Ogre of Castlebum”...

Mr. Botsford: Becky is a very devoted Princess Triana fan.

(Bob chatters something to Becky.)

Becky: Devoted? That means when you love something so much that you give it a lot of your time. Like the way we're devoted to each other. (Bob chirps "thanks".) You're welcome. This midnight release party was a great idea.

Ms. Libri: Thanks.

Becky: So, Ms. Libri. Do you know what happens in the new book?

Ms. Libri: Oh, no. And even if I did, I’d be sworn to secrecy. The author didn’t want to reveal any details about the story until the official release. They're keeping all the books under lock and key at the publisher’s building until the stroke of midnight.

(Tobey, who has just reached the back of the line with his mother, perks up at hearing this.)

Tobey: (to himself) Publisher’s building, eh? I just may be the first one to read this book after all. (to his Mom) Mother, I forgot to change into my, er... waiting-in-line shoes. They’re in the car. Back in two shakes.

Tobey’s Mom: Fine, dear.

(Tobey’s Mom begins flipping through a magazine. Tobey sees his opportunity and sneaks off.)

Tobey: I’m coming for you, my princess... (Tobey laughs evilly...)

(Bob and Becky watch Tobey scamper by, cackling and pushing buttons on his remote to summon his robots.)

Becky: Oh! He’s up to something... (then) Dad, uh, we’ll be right back.

Mr. Botsford: Where ya going?

Becky: Um... I have to ask a girl in line where she got her Princess Triana inflatable jumpsuit.

Mr. Botsford: Okay. I’ll be here.

(Becky and Bob rush off. In the b.g., we hear Becky say "Word up!")

(Scene: INT. PUBLISHING CO. WAREHOUSE - Moments later)

(A couple of Security Guards sit around a large crate of books with a picture of a Princess on the side. The guards are kicked back drinking coffee and looking at a promo poster.)

Security Guard #1: I don’t know, Mick... this Ogre of Castlebum sure looks like a mean guy. He’s so big...

Security Guard #2: Ahhh...The ogre’s a wimp! Princess Triana could take him out with her wand tied behind her back.

(SFX: HUGE CRASH - A large hole is smashed through the wall!)

Security Guard #1: Ahh!

(We see a giant robot hand come in through the hole and grab the guards, lifting them up and stranding them on some large air ducts. Tobey walks in calmly.)

Tobey: Well, that was easy. Good work, robot. (The robot opens one of the cases and lifts Tobey up) Now then... Princess Triana, where aaare youuu?

(He reaches into the crate and grabs a book.)

Tobey: A ha! Come to Theodore...

(WordGirl and Huggy fly in and land on top of the stack of books.)

WordGirl: Drop that book, Tobey!

Tobey: Ha! WordGirl! I don't think so... I MUST know what happens in the story before anyone else!

WordGirl: But that's unfair to everyone waiting in line!

Tobey: I know! But aren't you tempted? Just a little?

WordGirl: I-- No! Now put down the book, and back away from the crate!

Tobey: My, WordGirl, you do look lovely when you’re angry. (being coy) I wonder what you’d look like if you were furious!

(Tobey hits a button on his remote and the robot attacks, throwing an Ogre of Castlebum parade float at WordGirl and Huggy. It traps them for a Moment, but Huggy chews at the balloon until it bursts, and covers the face of the robot.)

Tobey: Hey! (WordGirl zips in and grabs the book from a stunned Tobey.)

WordGirl: Face it, Tobey. If you want to read “Princess Triana and the Ogre of Castlebum”, you’re going to have to wait in line like the rest of us.

Tobey: You may have stopped me this time, WordGirl. But I will get that book before midnight whether you like it or not! (singing) I’m a little tea-pot... short and stout!

(Tobey hits a button on his remote. The robot yanks the balloon from its head. Suddenly, steam comes out of his robot’s mouth. The steam fills the room... obscuring Tobey.)

WordGirl: I can’t see!

(The steam clears. Tobey is gone. We hear him CACKLE as he escapes.)

WordGirl: He’s gone!

Security Guard #2:  (still hanging from the air duct) Yeah, but at least the books are safe. Thanks, WordGirl. (Huggy gives them a thumbs up.)

(Scene: EXT. LIBRI’S BOOKSTORE - a little later)

Narrator: Meanwhile, back in line...

(Tobey is back in line with his mother.)

Tobey: As if it isn’t bad enough having to wait in line, but I have to do it with the likes of this riff-raff?

Reginald: I know. It’s horrible.

Tobey: Um, I was including you in that riffraff.

Reginald: That's funny. I was including you. (They “hmmph” at each other.)

(A little further up in the line, Becky and Bob slide back into line next to Mr. Botsford.)

Mr. Botsford: Oh, hi, Becky. So, should I get you that Princess Triana inflatable jumpsuit for your birthday?

Becky: Inflatable jumpsuit? (Bob squeaks.) Oh, right. Heh-heh. No... don’t bother. It uhh...wasn’t that well-made. One little monkey bite and it popped, right Bob?

(Becky winks at Bob. Bob winks back.)

Mr. Botsford: I see winking. What are you two up to?

Becky: Nothing. Right, Bob?

(Becky has a guilty look on her face.)

Ms. Libri: It won’t be long now, everyone. The books are in an armored truck, and are on their way to the store as we speak.

(The crowd cheers. Bob squeaks, seeing Tobey slinking off.)

Becky: There he goes again. (starting off) Let’s follow him.

Mr. Botsford: Where you going, Becky? The books are almost here!

Becky: Uh... Bob forgot to apologize to that girl...for eating her jumpsuit...

Mr. Botsford: If you owe her any money, Bob, it’s coming out of your allowance. (Bob gives an “Oh man!” Squeak.)

(Scene: ARMORED TRUCK - a little later)

(The same two Security Guards who were at the warehouse are driving down the street with the crate of books securely in the back of the truck.)

Security Guard #2: I wanna know what happened to Prince VanLandingHam. He disappeared two books ago, and they’ve never revealed where he went.

(Suddenly, in front of the truck, a robot arm comes down from above and grabs the truck, stopping it dead in its tracks.)

Guard #2: AHHH!

(Tobey walks up to the door, holding his remote.)

Tobey: Lovely to see you again, gentlemen, but if you wouldn’t mind, I’d like a few Moments alone with the Princess.

(Tobey hits a button on his remote. His robot rips off the back of the truck. Behind him, we see WordGirl and Huggy, closing in. WordGirl and Huggy land and strike a battle pose.)

WordGirl: Stop right there, Tobey!

(Tobey is sitting on a stack of the books, reading the story.)

Tobey: Oh, hello, WordGirl. Here to stop me, or join me? (He wiggles the book in the air.)

WordGirl: (weakening a little) Stop you.

Tobey: Hmm-- too bad. I have devoted my entire evening to reading this book before anyone else! And I will!

(Tobey hits a button on his remote. His robot goes after WordGirl. She snaps off its antenna and knocks it to the ground. Once it’s down, Huggy rushes in and gives it a swift kick, for good measure.)

WordGirl: Well that wasn’t too hard. (then to Tobey) What, no (imitating Tobey) “My robot?!”

Tobey: (turning to her) What’s that now? Sorry, I wasn’t paying attention. I’ve just been doing a bit of reading!

WordGirl: Hey, no fair! Put that down!

Tobey: (smug) I don’t think I can put it down, WordGirl! It’s just too good! Already there are some very surprising developments. Would you like me to reveal some of them?

WordGirl: (gasps) You wouldn’t!

Tobey: Oh, I would. For example - did you know that Prince VanLandingHam is in fact still alive?

Security Guard #1: Stop! Don’t tell me!

WordGirl: Yeah Tobey, don’t reveal what happens!

Security Guard #1: Reveal?

WordGirl: Well, reveal means to give away a secret or show something that’s hidden. Like whether or not Prince VanLandingHam is alive.

Tobey: He is.

Security Guard #2: What?!

WordGirl: Or revealing whether or not the Princess falls from the cliff.

Tobey: She does.

Security Guard #1: No!

Tobey: But the Bubble Breathing dragon saves her.

Security Guard #2: Oh, thank goodness...

WordGirl: Wait Tobey, don’t reveal any more! If we already know what happens, it’ll ruin all the fun!

Tobey: Oh, I’m finished...and so are you!

(Tobey points behind WordGirl. WordGirl whips around to find Tobey’s robot right behind her, holding Huggy. It tosses him aside, onto a mattress. It then grabs WordGirl and tosses her inside the truck, and welds the back of the truck in place. The robot and Tobey take off.)

(Scene: INT. ARMORED TRUCK)

(WordGirl is stuck in the back of the truck. She pushes at the back door, but it won’t budge.)

WordGirl: Must... break... free!

(She takes a few steps back and is about to charge the door when she bumps the stack of Princess Triana books, and one falls into her hand.)

WordGirl: (gasps) “Princess Triana and the Ogre of Castlebum!” No. I can’t. (then) But I want to. (then) No. I have to at least try to break out of here.

(WordGirl raises her fist, but only gives the door a half-hearted punch. It doesn’t open.)

WordGirl: (fooling herself) Oh well, I’m stuck. Guess I have no choice!

(WordGirl quickly grabs the book and sits down to read. Just then, the back door opens and Huggy comes in.)

WordGirl: (hiding book) Oh! Uh, hey, Huggy! (nervous laugh, then) How’d you get in here?

(Huggy squeaks at her in a stern tone.)

WordGirl: (surprised) It was open...heh...Funny, I guess I should have checked that.

(Huggy gives her a dubious look.)

WordGirl: Right, well...time to go after Tobey! (grabbing Huggy) Word U--!

(Huggy squeaks. WordGirl still has one of the books in her hands.)

WordGirl: Whoops...heh...must’ve forgotten...it was in my han--Word Up!

(WordGirl drops the book and they take off.)

''Scene: EXT. NIGHT SKY - Moments later)''

(WordGirl and Huggy are flying around, looking for Tobey.)

Narrator: Tobey has escaped with a stolen copy of “Princess Triana and the Ogre of Castlebum”! Will WordGirl and Captain HuggyFace track him down before midnight? Will Tobey’s secret reading spot in the belly of his robot ever be revealed? By me? Right now?

WordGirl: Nice!

(Scene: INT. Tobey’S Robot Belly - A little later)

(Tobey sits in the belly of his robot, which is like a makeshift clubhouse. He’s reading “Princess Triana and the Ogre of Castlebum” by the dim light of a small flashlight. A closer look shows us he’s made a significant dent in the seven-hundred page novel.)

Tobey: Ah, a book is somehow more enjoyable when you’re doing something bad just by reading it.

(All of a sudden, there’s a loud WRENCHING METAL SOUND, as the belly plate of the robot is pried away, revealing WordGirl and Huggy.)

Tobey: Oh, it's you.

WordGirl: Step away from the book, Tobey!

Tobey: (pouting) But it was just getting good!

WordGirl: (forgetting herself) Why? What’s happening in it?

(Huggy squeaks at her.)

WordGirl: (re-setting) Right, right! Put it down Tobey. End of story!

Tobey: (sensing an opportunity) Are you sure? I mean, wouldn’t it interest you to know that Princess Triana has reunited with the handsome knight, Sir Finnvold?

WordGirl: (clenched teeth) No....

Tobey: Or how the Ogre of Castlebum may have taken Prince VanLandingHam hostage!

WordGirl: (freaking out) Ahh!! Stop revealing the story! You’re spoiling it!

(WordGirl has to cover her ears. Tobey senses his chance.)

Tobey: Now, robot! Attack!

(Scene: EXT. Tobey’s House)

(The robot reaches into its own belly and snatches up WordGirl. Tobey has relocated to the palm of the robot’s other hand, which sits like a platform. He’s on a roll now.)

WordGirl: (fingers in her ears) LA LA LA LA - I CAN’T HEAR YOU I CAN’T--

Tobey: (reading) What’s this? The princess has turned the tables on the ogre!! She’s winning! And she’s... kissing him on the CHEEK?!?!

(Just then, Huggy makes a desperate leap for Tobey. Tobey looks up from the book just at the right Moment. He moves out of the way, and Huggy misses!)

Tobey: Aha! Missed me! Missed me! Now you have to--- (gasp!)

(Tobey looks down at his book, then over at Huggy. Huggy is holding up three sheets of paper that look ripped out of a book.)

Tobey: You ripped out the last pages!

(Huggy nods. Huggy, with a sly smile on his face, holds up the pages and shakes them.)

Tobey: Those pages reveal the ending!

WordGirl: Good job, Huggy!

Tobey: Nice monkey...nice monkey...

(Huggy puts the pages in his mouth and starts chewing.)

Tobey: No, stop! Spit those out! Noooo!!!!

(Tobey hits a button on his remote. The robot hand that he’s standing on is suddenly propelled forward. It’s heading right for Huggy. Huggy’s eyes get wider as he chews the pages! Just as Tobey is about to reach Huggy, the robot hand keeps going, past Huggy and up into the sky.)

Tobey: Oh!--- malfunctioning robot!!

(Then, from underneath the robot hand...)

WordGirl: Psst... (Tobey looks down to see WordGirl holding the robot hand with one hand, which she had ripped off the robot, and holding Huggy with the other. She’s flying Tobey back to the bookstore.)

Tobey: This is not going to end well...

(Scene: EXT. LIBRI’S STORE OF BOOKS - A little later)

(We see Mrs. McCallister standing in line, still reading her magazine.)

WordGirl: (offscene) Excuse me. Mrs. McCallister?

(Mrs. McCalister looks up to see her son Tobey, standing on a severed robot hand that WordGirl is still holding, smiling sheepishly.)

WordGirl: Do I even need to say anything?

(Mrs. McCallister grabs Tobey by the ear and leads him off. Tobey drops the book.)

Tobey: Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!

(SFX: A Clock chime. Bob squeaks.)

WordGirl: (gasp) Midnight! The book is on sale! Let’s go, Huggy!

(We cut to Mr. Botsford who's still in line and is now only a few people away from the front. Becky and Bob zoom up and join Mr. Botsford back in line.)

Mr. Botsford: Oh, there you are. Just in time.

Becky: Uh... Yeah, thanks for holding our place, Dad.

(Finally, it's Becky and Mr. Botsford's turn in line. As they step up, the employee handing out the books looks at them sadly.)

Employee: Sorry, looks like we’re all out.

Becky: What?!

Mr. Botsford: Ohh.. sorry, Becky.

Becky: No! But we waited in line! (mad) I KNEW I should have read it when I had the chance!

Mr. Botsford: (confused) What?

Becky: Oh, nothing. Let’s go home.

(Ms. Libri comes up to them.)

Ms. Libri: Ooo, Becky. I’m glad you’re still here. I have something for you.

(She holds out a copy of the “Princess Triana and the Ogre of Castlebum.”)

Becky: Ohh! Thank you, Ms. Libri! (Becky jumps up and hugs her.)

Ms. Libri: I had to save one for my most devoted customer.

Becky: Thank you!

Ms. Libri: You’re very welcome.

(Scene: Becky is sitting down in an unspecified location, possibly the bookstore. Bob is sitting beside her.)

Becky: Okay, Bob. Ready to find out what happened to the Princess?

(Bob nods his head emphatically. Becky opens the book, takes a deep breath, then begins flying through the pages, speed reading. As the pages turn, Bob’s jaw drops in disbelief.)

Becky: Wow... Wow... WOW!!! (to Bob) What’d you think?

(Bob looks cross.)

Becky: What?

(Bob snatches the book out of her hands. He sighs, puts on some distinguished-looking reading glasses and starts reading at a normal speed.)

Narrator: Well there you have it, devoted WordGirl fans. We made it all the way through the episode, and we didn’t even reveal that when Princess Triana kissed the Ogre of Castlebum, he turned back into the long lost Prince VanLandingHam! Can you believe it?

(Bob gives another angry squeak, and slams the book shut.)

Narrator: Sorry! Tune in next time to see what gets revealed in another exciting adventure of WordGirl!