Scary with a Side of Butter/Transcript


 * Narrator: It was a dark and windy night at the old botsford place. Ooh. I want my blanky.
 * Becky: Bampy, tell us a scaaaary story.
 * Tim: Aah!
 * Becky: It's just the popcorn, Dad.
 * Tim: Oh.
 * Becky: How about an exciting legend? Actually, Bob, a legend can be a thrilling, made-up story.
 * Bampy: Or a true one! Mine'll curl your socks!
 * Tim: Aah!
 * Bampy: Now, grab your popcorn and gather round. According to the first settlers, this entire town was build on wild artichoke fields.
 * Becky: Oh. Artichokes are a herb-like, leafy plant that's eaten as a vegetable.
 * Bampy: Ooh, and they're delicious, except the ones beneath this ground are evil! Many years ago, I delivered diary products door to door. I was a milk man, and I heard the artichoke legend and how the spirits of the Artichokes had vowed to rise up, destroy our little city, and take back their land. I thought it was all hooey until the day it all came true!
 * Atrichoke: (Growls)
 * Tim: This is not an apporite story for bedtime!
 * Bampy: Oh, sorry, kids!
 * Tim: Actually, I meant my bedtime. I scare easily.
 * Becky: Then what happened, Bampy?
 * Bampy: Well, the town declared me a hero, and we boiled the heart of that pesky plant, dipped it in butter and ate it. Heh, heh. It's predicted the angry artichokes will rise up again on the third day or the fourth month of the 60th year from my 20th birthday.
 * Tim: What, what a relief. I mean, that's like a gillion years from now.
 * Becky: No, actually, they'll be here tomorrow!
 * Bampy: At noon!
 * Tim: Be under my bed if you need me! And don't forget to brush! And floss. Good night!
 * Bampy: If more come tomorrow, I'll fight them off again with--what did I fight them off with?
 * Becky: You never said.
 * Bampy: Oh, well. It'll come to me. What's important the victory party. Then it's artichoke and butter. Mmm, mmm. Mmm, mmm. Mmm, mmm.
 * Tim: Becky, I think we have to assure that legend Bampy told us last night was just something he made up to scare me--us. Scare us. All of us. Aah!
 * Becky: It does seem pretty fantastical, Dad, and if it were anybody else, I wouldn't believe it. I mean, he did once defeat a giant robot using only a screwdriver.
 * Tim: Indeed he did.
 * Becky: I think for the moment, we should keep this artichoke thing to ourselves.
 * Bampy: Beware! Angry Artichokes are coming! Beware! Angry Artichokes are coming!
 * Becky: Well, so much for a quiet day.
 * Bampy: Today at noon!
 * All: (Laughs)
 * Guy: Heeeelp!
 * All: (Screams)
 * Old Lady: (Screams) Aah!
 * The Butcher: Aah!
 * Police Comissioner Watson and The General: Aah!
 * Bee: Aah!
 * Guy: Aah!
 * Bampy: Calm down! Panicking and making loud noises won't help!
 * WordGirl: Bampy!
 * Bampy: Becky! Ooh, sorry. I meant, uh, WordGirl!
 * WordGirl: Bampy, we have to organize everyone. We must fly over the city, get everyone in the football stadinum, and by banding together restore peace in our town now and forever! Ohh! Ow.
 * All: (Screams)
 * Leslie: Sir, have you seen the chaos in the streets?
 * Mr. Big: Oh! Chaos! Yes. That word is like music to my ears.
 * Leslie: Some old guy has been telling everyone the legend of an angry artichoke uprising and that the town is going to be under attack. They're gathering at the football field to ward off the artichokes!
 * Mr. Big: Ha, ha, ha! Ha, ha, ha! Oh, that's rich. So really, what's going on?
 * WordGirl: Attention everyone! Please walk calmly to the football stadinum. There, we will choose...
 * Mr. Big: Mww waaa ha, ha, ha, haaa! Leslie, do you see the amazing opportunity in Arty the Artichoke stuffed toy?
 * Leslie: The even bigger opportunity is that everyone in town will be in one place, and we can mind control them and get them to hand us all their money.
 * Mr. Big: Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! I have an idea. Everyone in town will be in one place, and we can mind control them and get them to hand us all their money.
 * Leslie: We're a team.
 * Narrator: As the minutes ticked towards noon, everyone was getting into the spirit of teamwork.
 * WordGirl: Thanks, everyone for coming!
 * Bampy: Remember, I defeated them once, and I can do it again. I just have to remember, uh, how I did it! Don't worry! It'll all come back to me.
 * WordGirl: They'll be here at exactly noon. Let's synchronize our watches.
 * Bampy: I have 11:57.
 * Scoops: Correction, sir. It's 11:58.
 * Guy: No! It's 12:05! Oops, sorry. Set it ahead so I could be the first to panic. Heeeelp!
 * Violet: Oh!
 * Woman: An artichoke.
 * All: (Screams)
 * Bampy: Get them!
 * Guy: These artichokes are only popping up because they're in season, just harmless vegetables.
 * Bampy: No, they're not! Those are the spy artichokes!
 * WordGirl: Exactly. Bampy doesn't lie. If you recall, he once defeated a robot with a screwdriver. Uh...
 * Leslie: Sir, it's just we suspected. There aren't any crazy evil artichokes, just enough for popping up to make some tasty dip.
 * Mr. Big: It's time to carry out my plan.
 * WordGirl: And, uh, also.
 * Crowd: (Booing)
 * Bampy: I knew it. I knew it. Shame on you for doubting me.
 * WordGirl: Um, Bampy, maybe we should stop pointing fingers and start fighting.
 * Bampy: Uh, good idea. Get them!
 * Mr. Big: Leslie, how do you work this thing?
 * Leslie: Pull the lever to the right, sir. Your other right, sir.
 * WordGirl: Oh, no! Mind control! Mind control is Mr. Big is behind that giant artichoke, taking advantage of everyone's fear. Oh, what can we do to defeat them? Yes, I know Bampy defeated another artichoke once, but it wasn't Mr. Big and Leslie. It was just an evil artichoke, and he ran to his milk truck, and he found something. (Gasps) Wait. Of course. Why didn't I think of this before? Huggy, hop on. We'll defeat this giant artichoke, and we'll do it exactly like Bampy! We just have to make one stop.
 * Leslie: Sir, WordGirl, on the horizon.
 * WordGirl: Hey, Giant Artichoke! Good thing it's such a sunny day because the best way to enjoy an artichoke is with delicious melted butter!
 * Mr. Big: I knew it. We should've gone with Arty the Artichoke.
 * WordGirl: Bampy, years ago, you drove a milk truck full of butter and used it to single-handely save the city. From what? We may never know. But by thinking like you and battling with butter, we definitely triumphed over an evil artichoke. So on behalf of certain townspeople, "We're sorry we ever doubted you."
 * All: (Cheers)
 * Bampy: Thank you, Becky. Uh, I mean, WordGirl. That remeinds me of another true legend about our town. The year was 1945. We were forced to do battle with maniacal lemon meringue pies. I was working at a carnival...
 * Narrator: And so let's remember to eat our vegetables so we can all live to be as old as Bampy, sharing artichokes and stories with-- What was that? Ahem. Okay. Tune in next time for another exciting legend of "WordGirl"!
 * (Evil Artichoke arrives)
 * Evil Artichoke: (Growls)