Staycation/Transcript

The episode opens at the Botsford house. The day is dark and full of snow.

The narrator says BRRR! IT'S A FRIGID DAY BECAUSE A BLIZZARD HAS ROLLED INTO TOWN. BUT THE BOTSFORDS DON'T CARE, BECAUSE -

The Botsfords shout WE'RE GOING ON VACATION!

The Narrator says MEANWHILE, IN Mr. BIG'S LIMO...

Mr. Big says WE'RE GOING ON VACATION!

Leslie sits in the driver’s seat.

She says WE ARE?

Mr. Big says WELL, IT'S A WORKING VACATION.

Leslie says OH.

The Narrator says MEANWHILE, AT THE BOTSFORD HOUSE...

The Botsford family meets in the kitchen

Mr. Botsford is wearing a giant red hoodie and says FIRST WE'LL GO BIRDWATCHING, THEN WE'LL ATTEND A POOL-SIDE LECTURE ON FERNS, AND I GOT US TICKETS TO A POWERPOINT PRESENTATION ON THE JET STREAM!

The Narrator says MEANWHILE, IN Mr. BIG'S LIMO...

Mr. Big says YES, WE WILL BE COMMITTING THE PERFECT MIND-CONTROL CRIME!

He opens up a suitcase. There is something green glowing inside

The Narrator says MEANWHILE, AT THE BOTSFORD HOUSE...

Everyone is wearing thick coats

Becky says I'M GOING TO LEARN TO SURF!

TJ says I HEAR THERE'S A BIG POOL WITH A WATERSLIDE!

Mrs. Botsford says THAT'S WHERE I'LL BE VERY BUSY... READING MY BOOK!

She laughs holding her book

The Narrator says MEANWHILE, IN Mr. BIG'S LIMO...

Leslie says ANOTHER MIND-CONTROL CRIME? WHY GO ON VACATION TO DO THAT?

Mr. Big says BECAUSE EVERY TIME I DO MY MIND CONTROL HERE, WORD GIRL STOPS ME. BUT THIS WORKING VACATION ALLOWS US TO GET OUT OF HERE AND DO SOME MIND CONTROL IN A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT CITY! SOMEWHERE... BALMY. LOOK! THEY ARE MIND-CONTROL SANDALS!

The Narrator says MEANWHILE, AT THE BOTSMO- I MEAN, IN THE LIMBOT- CAN WE JUST DO A SPLIT SCREEN? I'M GETTING TIRED! THANKS.

Mr. Big and Leslie move to one half of the screen. The Botsford home appears in the other half

Mr. Botsford turns up the radio

Radio Announcer says THIS JUST IN! BECAUSE OF THE FRIGID WEATHER AND SNOW, ALL FLIGHTS OUT OF TOWN HAVE BEEN CANCELLED! BUMMER!

Mr. Big and Mr. Botsford shout CANCELLED?!

Mrs. Botsford says OHHH!

Mr. Big says NOW WHAT, I'VE GOT BOXES OF THESE SANDALS.

Mr. Botsford says THAT'S TOO BAD. BUT WE CAN STILL HAVE FUN!

Mr. Big says WE ARE GOING ON VACATION!

The scene changes to just the Botsford house

Mr. Botsford says WE ARE STAYING ON VACATION!

Mrs. Botsford says OHHHH!

Becky asks STAYING ON VACATION?

Mr. Botsford says YES, WE'RE IMPROVISING! LIKE I ALWAYS SAY: YOU CAN PLAN YOUR PLANS, BUT YOU CAN'T LET YOUR PLANS PLAN YOU!

Becky and Mrs. Botsford ask HUH?

TJ says WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?

Becky says I DON'T GET IT.

TJ says DAD, DO YOU FEEL ALL RIGHT?

Mr. Botsford says WHAT I MEAN IS WE'RE GOING TO HAVE OUR TROPICAL VACATION RIGHT HERE AT HOME! A STAY CATION, BECAUSE WE'RE STAYING HOME! AFTER ALL, THE MOST IMPORTANT THING ABOUT A FAMILY VACATION IS SPENDING TIME TOGETHER! WON'T IT BE FUN?

Mrs. Botsford mutters I... DUNNO... I DON'T KNOW.

Mr. Botsford pulls out two small beds into the kitchen

He says YOU SEE? THIS IS JUST AS CRAMPED AND UNCOMFORTABLE AS A REAL HOTEL ROOM!

Mrs. Botsford says OH, I SEE!

TJ says CAN I GO PUT ON MY BATHING SUIT?

Mrs. Botsford says THAT'S A GOOD IDEA. I CAN FINALLY WEAR THAT ADORABLE COVERUP AND STRAW HAT THAT I BOUGHT FOR THE BALMY WEATHER!

TJ and Mrs. Botsford walk away

Becky says REALLY? SO, NOW, WE'RE ALL PRETENDING TO BE ON VACATION?

Bob says AHH, AHH. [Becky gasps]

They look at the window and see a limo stuck in the snow

Becky says UH... I HAVE TO GO!

Mr. Botsford says GO WHERE? WE'RE ON OUR STAYCATION!

Becky says I, UMM... SIGNED UP FOR SHUFFLEBOARD, AND I'M LATE; OH, BROTHER!

Mr. Botsford says AH-HA, THAT'S THE SPIRIT, BECKY!

Becky says WORD UP!

Huggy and Word Girl fly outside. Word Girl taps on the limousine window

Word Girl shivers and says WHAT ARE YOU UP TO, Mr. BIG!

Mr. Big lowers his window and says I'M NOT UP TO ANYTHING, WORD GIRL. MY LIMO IS STUCK IN THE SNOW! [tires squealing]

Word Girl asks SO, WAIT, YOU ACTUALLY NEED MY HELP?

Mr. Big says YES, ISN'T THAT WHAT SUPERHEROES LIKE YOU DO?

Word Girl sighs and says IF THIS STORM HADN'T RUINED MY VACATION PLANS, I'D BE SWIMMING AT A BALMY RESORT RIGHT NOW.

She shivers. Word Girl pushes the limousine until it is from the snow. Leslie drives away and honks

Word Girl says PFFT, SOME VACATION. [Music Plays]

The scene changes to inside the Botsford home. Mrs. Botsford and TJ are dressed in summer clothing. Mr. Botsford stands behind the counter wearing a red bellboy outside

Mr. Botsford says HI, I'M DAD, AND WELCOME TO THE BALMY CASA BOTSFORD RESORT!

Mrs. Botsford says OHHHH, FOUR STARS! HOO-HOO!

Becky and Bob walk into the room

Becky says I DON'T KNOW, DAD; THIS DOESN'T SEEM FUN.

Mr. Botsford says SURE IT DOES! MAY I ESCORT YOU TO THE BEACH? VOILA!

He opens a door to reveal a room filled with sand and inflatable palm trees

A moment later Mr. Botsford is shown dressed in a grass crown and skirt. He twirls a baton. It flies out of his hands. Becky and TJ use binoculars to look at flamingos, alligators, and turtles. Bob and Mr. Botsford hold up pages from magazines with the animals at a distance

Becky and the rest of the family sit in inflatable pools

Becky says AHH, THIS IS ACTUALLY STARTING TO FEEL... KINDA FUN!

Mrs. Botsford says AND RELAXING!

Mr. Botsford says NOW, HOW ABOUT WE END THIS PERFECTLY BALMY STAYCATION DAY BY, OH, I DON'T KNOW... WATCHING THE TROPICAL SUNSET! HA HA HO, SUPER DAD! NOW, THEN, LET ME JUST SET THIS THING UP.

He falls out of his pool and switches the TV on

News reporter Loretta says THIS IS LORETTA SANCHEZ JOHNSON REPORTING LIVE FROM THE DESERTED AND FRIGID AIRPORT!

She appears on the TV covered in snow in front of the airport

Mr. Big jumps onto the screen and says ANYONE WANT SANDALS? GET YOUR SANDALS, NO MIND CONTROL IN THEM, I SWEAR! HEY, WHAT DO YOU THINK? COME ON, PUT 'EM ON!

Loretta says IT'S TOO FRIGID FOR SANDALS! AND BESIDES, THOSE KIND ALWAYS FEEL LIKE THEY'RE DIGGING INTO THIS REPORTER'S TOES.

Mr. Botsford changes the channel to a sunset and says THERE WE GO! AHHH... RELAXING.

Bob says AHH, AHH, AHH.

Becky says UH, GUYS, I JUST REMEMBERED, BOB AND I SIGNED UP FOR A HOT ROCK MASSAGE? SO, WE'LL BE BACK IN A BIT! WORD UP!

They fly off. The scene changes to in front of the airport. Mr. Big and Leslie walk around in giant coats. Leslie holds Mr. Big’s suitcase as Mr. Big holds up purple sandals and says HEY, FREE SANDALS! HEY, GET YOUR FREE SANDALS!

Word Girl and Huggy appear

Word Girl say NOT SO FAST, Mr. BIG!

Mr. Big says WORD GIRL! HOW NICE TO SEE YOU! FREE SANDALS?

Word Girl says SANDALS? WHAT ARE YOU UP TO?

Mr. Big says UH, LOOK, THIS WOULD ALL MAKE A LOT MORE SENSE IF MY AIRPLANE FLIGHT HADN'T GOT CANCELLED, WORD GIRL! I HAD A PLAN!

Word Girl says OKAY, BUT THAT DOESN'T EXPLAIN WHAT YOU'RE DOING.

Mr. Big says OH, DON'T WORRY, THESE ARE NOT MIND-CONTROL SANDALS.

An image flashes of a man wearing the purple sandals. His eyes are giant green spirals

Word Girl says UH-HUH, YEAH.

Mr. Big says NOW, BEFORE YOU TRY TO STOP ME, YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT THERE'S A TRUCK ABOUT TO DRIVE BY, AND IF YOU DON'T MOVE, IT WILL COVER YOU IN SLUSH!

Huggy grabs the suitcase away from Leslie

Word Girl says YEAH, RIGHT, YOU THINK I'D FALL FOR THA

A truck drives by carrying snow. It drops a pile of slush on top of Word Girl

She says AW, MAN, NOW MY SOCKS ARE ALL WET.

Huggy says AHH!

She flies out of the pile of snow and in front of Mr. Big

World Girl says GOT YOU, Mr. BIG! HUH?

She looks at Mr. Big and sees a snowman replica of her enemy

Word Girl says HMM.

A snowball hits her

She exclaims HEY! ALL RIGHT, YOU ASKED FOR IT!

She hides behind the snowman and throws snowballs at Mr. Big and Leslie who are hiding behind a shelf of snow Huggy throws snowballs at a rapid pace

Word Girl says GET 'EM, HUGGY! [Music Plays]

Mr. Big says HOW ARE YOU SO CHEERFUL, W ORD GIRL? YOU WERE IN SUCH A BAD MOOD EARLIER. I MEAN, WE BOTH HAD PLANS TO GO ON BALMY VACATIONS, AND THEY WERE RUINED!

Word Girl says WELL, I JUST CHANGED MY ATTITUDE. LIKE DAD SAID, "YOU CAN PLAN YOUR PLANS, BUT YOU CAN'T LET YOUR PLANS PLAN YOU!"

Mr. Big says HUH?

Word Girl says IT JUST MEANS YOU DON'T HAVE TO LET SOMETHING LIKE A LITTLE FRIGID WEATHER RUIN YOUR PLANS!

Mr. Big says OHHHH, NOW I GET IT... I THINK. WELL, ACTUALLY, I'M NOT ALTOGETHER SURE WHAT THE WORD FRIGID MEANS.

Word Girl explains OH, FRIGID MEANS VERY COLD IN TEMPERATURE.

Mr. Big says OH, YEAH, WELL, THAT MAKES SENSE BECAUSE THIS FREEZING COLD, FRIGID TEMPERATURE DID RUIN MY EVIL PLAN.

Word Girl says YEP, AND NOW, SO WILL I!

She throws giant snow balls at Mr. Big and Leslie. Word Girl and Huggy fly over to the villains

Word Girl says SO MUCH FOR YOUR MIND-CONTROL SANDALS. NOW YOU'RE COMING WITH ME, Mr... HUH? OHHHH!

She looks down. An open sewer hole lays in the sand

The Narrator says Mr. BIG HAS ESCAPED! BUT WITHOUT HIS SUITCASE OF MIND-CONTROL SANDALS, THERE'S NOT MUCH HE CAN DO.

The scene changes to the sewers. Mr. Big and Leslie are walking down a tunnel full of sewer water

Mr. Big says WELL, THAT'S WHAT YOU THINK! BUT I ONLY NEED ONE PAIR OF SANDALS TO PULL OFF A MIND-CONTROL CRIME!

Leslie says I REGRET TO INFORM YOU NO ONE IS GOING TO WEAR THEM IN THIS FRIGID WEATHER.

Mr. Big says DID YOU NOT JUST HEAR WHAT WORD GIRL SAID? HER PLANS GOT MESSED UP, BUT SOMEHOW THIS DAD FELLA INSPIRED HER WITH HIS AMAZING PLANNING SUPERPOWERS! WE CAN DO IT TOO!

Leslie says SO, WHAT DO WE DO NEXT, SIR?

Mr. Big says IF YOU HAD ONE MIND-CONTROL DEVICE, AND THEY WERE SANDALS, AND IT WAS FRIGID OUTSIDE, WHO WOULD YOU PUT THEM ON?

A mouse runs behind Leslie The scene changes to inside of Dr. Two-Brains lair. Leslie places a pair of sandals on his feet

Dr. Two-Brains says OH, THESE ARE NICE! I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR SOMETHING WITH AN OPEN TOE.

His eyes turn green. Mr. Two-Brains says in a robotic voice WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO?

Leslie says GOOD QUESTION. SIR, WHAT DO YOU WANT HIM TO DO?

Mr. Big is picking up and eating cheese in the back of the room

He walks over to Leslie and says WELL, I DON'T KNOW. BUT THAT'S WHY I PICKED TWO-BRAINS. HE'S ONE OF THOSE CREATIVE TYPES. LET'S SEE WHAT HE COMES UP WITH. I MEAN, WORST-CASE SCENARIO, WE JUST GET A RAY. [mechanical evil laughter]

Leslie says IT'S A RAY. SO, WHAT DOES IT DO?

Mr. Big says UM... I DON'T KNOW! I DIDN'T GIVE HIM SPECIFIC INSTRUCTIONS. I KNOW, I KNOW, THIS NEW PLAN IS KINDA HINKY. [Music Plays]

The image changes to the Botsford house. Everyone is sitting around in their swimsuits playing in the pool or sand

Mrs. Botsford says I GUESS THAT'S SUNSET, KIDS! BUT HEY, ON OUR STAYCATION, EVEN WHEN THE SUN GOES DOWN, IT'S STILL BALMY OUT!

TJ says EVERYBODY KEEPS SAYING THAT WORD, BALMY? WHAT DOES BALMY MEAN?

Becky says BALMY MEANS PLEASANTLY WARM. SEE, OUR VACATION WAS SUPPOSED TO BE AT A NICE, WARM, OR BALMY BEACH. OUR STAYCATION IS AT HOME, BUT DAD TURNED UP THE HEAT TO MAKE IT FEEL LIKE A WARM, BALMY BEACH.

Loretta says THIS JUST IN!

Everyone looks at the T.V.

Loretta continues THERE'S SOME KIND OF CREEPY RAY BEING POINTED AT THE CITY!

Behind her, a giant green ray sits on top of a tall building. Loretta says AND IN CONTINUING NEWS, IT'S STILL FRIGID OUT HERE, JERRY!

Becky stammers UH... BOB AND I ARE OFF TO... THE SAUNA! IT'S IN THE GARAGE.

They run off

The scene changes to Mr. Big and a shivering Leslie standing on top of the building with the ray gun.

Word Girl and Huggy hover above

Word Girl says STOP WHATEVER YOU'RE DOING RIGHT NOW, Mr. BIG! AND Dr. TWO-BRAINS? WAIT, WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING?

Mr. Big says I DON'T KNOW, I'M NOT GREAT AT IMPROVISING. I'M MORE OF A PLANNER. AND MY PLANS WENT KABLOOIE!

Word Girl says WHAT'S THE RAY EVEN DO?

Mr. Big says UH, TURNS STUFF TO GOOP? I DON'T KNOW. I ACTUALLY DON'T CARE. BUT ON THE OFF-CHANCE THAT IT DOES SOMETHING AMAZING, I'D LIKE TO TAKE THE CREDIT. [mechanical evil laughter]

Dr. Two-Brains stands next to the machine. Word Girl flies over and removes the mind controlling sandals from his feet

Dr. Two-Brains mumbles I... HUH? WHAT-WHAT AM I DOING?

She shivers and says BRRR! IT'S FRIGID OUT HERE!

Word Girl says YOU WERE MAKING A RAY - MAYBE A GOOP RAY, I THINK? YOU KNOW, IF YOU ASK ME, THE WHOLE THING WAS REALLY JUST THROWN TOGETHER.

Huggy says AHH!!

Mr. Big and Leslie are missing. A moment later they are shown driving away in Dr. Two-Brain’s mouse truck. After driving for a few seconds, they get stuck in the snow.

Word Girl says BON VOYAGE, Mr. BIG! SEND US A POSTCARD - FROM JAIL!

Word Girl and Huggy fly off as police pull up to the building

The scene changes to Mr. Botsford wearing a pilot uniform. He sits inside of cut-out cardboard box. Behind him Mrs. Botsford and TJ sit on wooden chairs. Cardboard clouds hang from the ceiling

Mr. Botsford says THIS IS CAPTAIN DAD SPEAKING. WE'VE ALMOST REACHED OUR CRUISING ALTITUDE OF ZERO FEET. PLEASE REMAIN IN YOUR SEATS UNTIL WE'VE TURNED OFF THE FASTEN SEAT BELT SIGN... AND OTHER THINGS CAPTAINS SAY.

Mrs. Botsford says WELL, THAT MAY HAVE BEEN THE BEST VACATION EVER.

Mr. Botsford says ON OUR LEFT SIDE IS MY DAUGHTER, BECKY, WALKING ON THE WINGS OF THE AIRCRAFT.

Becky and Bob walk into the room as Mr. Botsford continues ON THE RIGHT SIDE OF THE PLANE, WE'RE SO HIGH UP THOSE PEOPLE DOWN THERE LOOK LIKE ANTS.

Mrs. Botsford and TJ say OOOHHH!

Mr. Botsford says AS A MATTER OF FACT, THOSE MIGHT ACTUALLY BE ANTS. HONEY, WE HAVE ANTS.

The Narrator says FASTEN YOUR SEAT BELTS AND PUT YOUR CHAIRS IN THE UPRIGHT POSITION! AND TUNE IN NEXT TIME, EVEN IF IT’S TOO FRIGID TO GO ANYWHERE - OR EVEN IF IT'S BALMY - STAY HOME INSTEAD, AND WATCH THE NEXT EPISODE OF WORD GIRL!