Pineapple of My Eye/Transcript

The episode opens with Mr. Botsford, Becky, and Bob sitting at the kitchen table

The narrator says IT'S A BEAUTIFUL SATURDAY MORNING AT THE BOTSFORD RESIDENCE, WHERE BECKY AND HER DAD ARE TALKING. NOT OUR MOST EXCITING START.

Mr. Botsford says ALRIGHT, ARE YOU READY?

Becky says I'M READY.

Mr. Botsford says YOU SAY YOU'RE READY, BUT HOW DO I KNOW YOU'RE REALLY READY?

Becky says I'M REALLY READY.

Mr. Botsford says REALLY?

Becky says REALLY.

Mr. Botsford says READY?

Becky says READY.

Mr. Botsford says OKAY THEN, HERE IT IS.

Becky gasps and says THE BOTSFORD FAMILY COLESLAW RECIPE.

Mr. Botsford holds out an index card with a picture of a pineapple and a recipe

Mr. Botsford says BECKY, THIS COLESLAW RECIPE HAS BEEN THE CORNERSTONE OF EVERY BOTSFORD FAMILY PICNIC FOR GENERATIONS. AND WE'RE LUCKY TO STILL HAVE IT. IT WAS ALMOST ERADICATED IN THE GREAT BOTSFORD BASEMENT FLOOD OF LAST YEAR.

He laughs and says DAD LEFT THE SINK RUNNING. MOM WAS MAD.

An image flashes of Mrs. Botsford floating in the basement which is full of water

Mr. Botsford says BUT WE WERE ABLE TO SAVE IT. AND NOW, BECKY BOTSFORD, I, TIM BOTSFORD, PASS THIS RECIPE ON TO YOU.

Becky says WOW.

Mr. Botsford stands up. He holds up a golden pocket watch and says IT IS NOW 8 A.M., BOTSFORD STANDARD TIME. AND THERE IS A BOTSFORD FAMILY PICNIC IN 8 HOURS. IT IS UP TO YOU, AND YOU ALONE, TO MAKE THAT COLESLAW. HAVE FUN. I KNOW YOU WON'T LET ME AND ALL OF OUR ANCESTORS DOWN.

Becky gasps OH!

The Narrator says ACROSS DOWN, IN A BOLOGNA-SCENTED BASEMENT...

The image changes to Chuck sleeping on a bunk bed surrounded by stuffed toys

Chuck says HUH?

He looks out the window of the basement and into the backyard

Brent, Miss Question are standing over Brent and Chuck’s mother who is swinging in a hammock

Chuck’s mother says OH, BRENT, I LOVE MY NEW BIRTHDAY HAMMOCK THAT YOU GOT ME BECAUSE IT'S MY BIRTHDAY.

Chuck exclaims OH, KETCHUP PACKETS! IT'S MOM'S BIRTHDAY AND I DIDN'T GET HER A PRESENT YET. AND OF COURSE BRENT GOT HER A HAMMOCK. WHICH IS A PERFECT PRESENT.

Chuck’s mother says THIS HAMMOCK IS A PERFECT PRESENT.

Chuck paces around the basement and says THINK, CHUCK, THINK, WHAT'S ANOTHER PERFECT PRESENT FOR MOM? WELL, I AM CHUCK THE EVIL SANDWICH MAKING GUY, SO MAYBE I SHOULD DESTROY SOMETHING THAT MOM DOESN'T LIKE. YEAH, THAT'S A GREAT PRESENT.

The Narrator says IT IS?

Chuck says YES.

He pauses and says I THINK. BUT WHAT DOES MOM REALLY DISLIKE? HMM...

Chuck shouts EUREKA! PINEAPPLES.

He looks at an old photo of himself in a pineapple costume

Chuck says MOM REALLY DOESN'T LIKE PINEAPPLES.

The Narrator says OKAY. SO YOU'RE JUST GOING TO ERADICATE PINEAPPLES?

Chuck holds up his condiment ray gun and says LOOK OUT, PINEAPPLES, CHUCK THE EVIL SANDWICH MAKING GUY IS GONNA FIND YOU AND DESTROY YOU. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MA. HA HA!

The Narrator says MEANWHILE, BACK AT THE BOTSFORDS...

Bob and Becky sit at the kitchen table. Becky analyzes her notecard

Becky says WOW, THIS RECIPE'S A DOOZY. BUT THIS IS THE FIRST BOTSFORD FAMILY RECIPE THAT I GET TO MAKE COMPLETELY ON MY OWN. AND I AM DETERMINED TO DO IT RIGHT. BOB, WE NEED TO MAKE A SHOPPING LIST.

[Bob squeaking] Bob takes out a notepad and a pencil

Becky says WE NEED CABBAGE, CARROTS, PINEAPPLE, SOUR CREAM –

Bob furiously writes down everything Becky says The Narrator asks WAIT, DID YOU SAY PINEAPPLE?

Becky says YEAH, WHY?

The Narrator says ER... NO REASON. MUST BE JUST A COINCIDENCE.

Becky says OKAY, THEN. COME ON, BOB, I GUESS WE SHOULD GO TO... WHERE SHOULD WE GO?

The Narrator says TO THE GROCERY STORE.

Becky echoes TO THE GROCERY STORE.

The Narrator says AND I WOULD HURRY IF I WERE YOU. MEANWHILE, AT THE, WELL...

The image changes to the grocery store. Chuck is standing in front of a crate of pineapple

Chuck says HEE HEE! SAY GOOD-BYE, PINEAPPLES.

Shopkeeper walks up to Chuck and says OH, WOW, A GUY WHO CAN TALK TO FRUIT? YOU'RE HIRED.

Chuck says NO, NO, I CAN'T REALLY...

Shopkeeper says TELL THE MANGOS TO SAY HELLO.

Chuck says WHY WOULD THE MANGOS SAY HELLO?

Shopkeeper says I DON'T KNOW. WHY WOULD THE PINEAPPLES SAY GOOD-BYE?

Chuck says I DON'T KNOW.

Shopkeeper says YOU'RE FIRED.

Chuck says BUT I...

Shopkeeper says NOW, HOW DO YOU WANT TO PAY FOR THOSE?

Becky and Bob walk around the corner. At the sight of Chuck they tip toe their way behind the aisle

Chuck says PAY? I'M NOT PAYING! I AM CHUCK THE EVIL SANDWICH MAKING GUY, AND I'M STEALING THESE PINEAPPLES IN ORDER TO... OH, HEY, VOICE GUY, WHAT WAS THAT WORD YOU USED BEFORE?

The Narrator says WHICH ONE? I USE A LOT OF WORDS.

Chuck says YOU NOW THE ONE, ERADI-SOMETHING OR OTHER?

Word Girl and Huggy fly into the aisle. They land on top of the crate of mangoes. Bob eats as mango as World Girl says YOU MUST MEAN ERADICATE. ERADICATE IS ANOTHER WORD FOR DESTROY.

Chuck says WORD GIRL.

Word Girl says THAT'S RIGHT, CHUCK. NOW, STEP AWAY FROM THAT BIN OF PINEAPPLES. WAIT, WHY ARE YOU STEALING A BIN OF PINEAPPLES?

Chuck says BECAUSE I'M GONNA ERADICATE THEM.

Word Girl says HEY, NOW YOU GOT IT.

She looks confused

Word Girl asks BUT WHY?

Chuck says BECAUSE IT'S MY MOM'S BIRTHDAY.

Word Girl says IS THAT THE WHOLE EXPLANATION?

Chuck says WELL, YEAH. UNLESS YOU WANT TO INCLUDE THIS.

Word Girl says OH!

Chuck zaps Word Girl and Huggy with his condiment ray gun. They fall back covered in a pile of relish

Chuck laughs AHH.

Word Girl says YOU KNOW IT'S REALLY ANNOYING HOW SLOWLY YOU'RE ESCAPING.

Chuck pushes the crate of pineapples slowly down the aisle

He says TOO BAD.

Images flash of Word Girl and Huggy chasing Chuck through an ice cream parlor, train station and pineapple field. Each time Chuck surprises them and zaps his enemies while running away with a supply of pineapple

At the pineapple farm Word Girl says OH, THIS IS SO FRUSTRATING! CHUCK HAS STOLEN EVERY SINGLE PINEAPPLE IN THE ENTIRE CITY. [Huggy squeaking]

Word Girl says AND I'M RUNNING OUT OF TIME TO MAKE MY COLESLAW. JUST ONE PINEAPPLE, THAT'S ALL I NEED. WAIT A SECOND, EUREKA!

She flies to the middle of the field and yells IT'S A PINEAPPLE. [Huggy squeaking]

Word Girl says OH, I SAID EUREKA. IT MEANS I FOUND IT. SEE, IF YOU'RE LOOKING FOR A SOLUTION TO A PROBLEM AND YOU FIND IT, YOU CAN SHOUT EUREKA. NOW, COME ON, HUGGY, LET'S GO MAKE SOME COLE... HUH?

Farmer drives up in his tractor and says SO HAVE YOU FOUND MY PINEAPPLES? IS THAT ONE MINE?

Word Girl says ER... I DON'T THINK SO.

Farmer says OH.

Word Girl hides the pineapple behind her back and says AND I KIND OF HAVE TO STOP LOOKING FOR THEM RIGHT NOW BECAUSE I HAVE TO, UM, MAKE SOMETHING REALLY IMPORTANT.

Farmer says NO, NO, I UNDERSTAND.

Word Girl says BUT WHEN I FINISH MAKING THAT REALLY IMPORTANT THING, I'M TOTALLY GOING TO FIND ALL OF YOUR PINEAPPLES. I PROMISE.

Farmer says SURE, YEAH, OKAY. SOUNDS FINE.

Huggy looks at Word Girl and squeaks

Word Girl says BUT... BUT... THE BOTSFORD FAMILY COLESLAW. [Huggy squeaking]

Word Girl says ALL RIGHT.

She hands Farmer the pineapple and says HERE, HOLD THIS.

Farmer says REALLY?

Word Girl says CRIME FIRST, THEN COLESLAW. COME ON, HUGGY.

They fly into the air

Farmer says THERE GOES A TRUE HERO.

Flying over the city Word Girl says ALL RIGHT, SO IF YOU WERE GOING TO ERADICATE A LARGE AMOUNT OF PINEAPPLES...

[Huggy squeaking]

Word Girl looks down and says OH.

The image flashes to Chuck piling pineapples in his backyard

Chuck says THAT'S THE LAST ONE. NOW, ALL I HAVE TO DO IS CALL MA TO COME OUTSIDE, THEN I'LL ERADICATE EVERY SINGLE PINEAPPLE IN THE ENTIRE CITY. HA HA!

Word Girl and Huggy land in Chuck’s backyard

Word Girl says NOT GONNA HAPPEN, CHUCK. TIME TO ERADICATE YOUR MOM'S BIRTHDAY PRESENT.

[Huggy squeaking]

Word Girl says I KNOW, RIGHT? I'M DOING THE RIGHT THING HERE, BUT IT JUST SOUNDS TERRIBLE.

Chuck says ZA-BLAM!

He points his ray gun at Word Girl and Huggy and fires

Word Girl exclaims NOT RELISH. NOT RELISH!

Huggy and Word Girl are stuck in a green pile of relish unable to move

Chuck waves a controller made out of a potato

He says NOW THAT'S TAKEN CARE OF, TIME TO GIVE MY MA A BIRTHDAY SHE'LL NEVER FORGET.

He looks at the house and shouts MOM, COME ON OUTSIDE. I HAVE A SURPRISE FOR YOU.

Chuck’s mother says OKAY, GIVE ME A MINUTE.

Word Girl says LISTEN, CHUCK, I'M NOT SURE I'M GONNA BE ABLE TO STOP YOU THIS TIME, SO IS THERE ANY WAY YOU COULD, I DON'T KNOW, GRAB A PINEAPPLE AND JUST PUT IT ASIDE FOR ME?

Chuck asks IS THIS SOME KIND OF TRICK?

Word Girl answers NO, NO. YOU SEE, I HAVE TO MAKE THIS COLESLAW RECIPE, AND ONE OF THE MAIN INGREDIENTS IS PINEAPPLE, SO...

Chuck says COLESLAW WITH PINEAPPLE? THAT SOUNDS AMAZING.

Word Girl says OH, IT IS.

Chuck holds up a pineapple from the crate and says SO IF I PUT ONE ASIDE FOR YOU, YOU'LL LET ME ERADICATE ALL THE REST?

Word Girl says YES I MEAN, NO, NO.

Chuck throws the pineapple back into the bin

Word Girl says I WAS JUST THINKING MAYBE YOU COULD PUT ONE ASIDE FOR ME IF YOU THINK I'M NOT GOING TO BREAK OUT OF THIS IN TIME TO STOP YOU. WHICH I'M HOPING I WILL. BECAUSE I OWE IT TO THE CITY TO SAVE ALL THE PINEAPPLES BECAUSE... JUSTICE.

Chuck says MA, CAN YOU HURRY?

Chuck’s mother says HURRYING'S NOT MY THING.

Word Girl and Huggy break free from the relish

Word Girl flies over to the crate of pineapples and says OH! YOU CAN FORGET PUTTING A PINEAPPLE ASIDE, I'LL JUST SAVE ALL OF THEM.

Chuck says NO, NO, YOU WON'T.

He presses a button on his potato controller A giant sandwich press creaks as it lowers onto the pineapples

Word Girl holds the sandwich press up

Chuck says WAIT, IF I CRUSH THEM NOW, MA WON'T SEE IT, AND HER BIRTHDAY PRESENT WILL BE RUINED.

Word Girl says BUT ISN'T RUINING THEM THE PRESENT?

Huggy makes a grab for the controller in Chuck’s hands

Chuck shouts NO!

Chuck’s mother says CHUCKIE BOO, I CAN'T FIND MY SLIPPERS. BUT I'M LOOKING OUT THE WINDOW. IS THERE SOMETHING YOU WANT TO SHOW ME?

She exclaims WHOA!

Chuck says PLEASE, WORD GIRL, PLEASE, MY MOM IS WATCHING. PLEASE LET ME ERADICATE THE PINEAPPLES NOW.

Word Girl says NO. THEY ARE NOT YOUR PINEAPPLES.

Farmer appears and says THAT'S RIGHT. THEY'RE MY PINEAPPLES.

Word Girl says HOW DID YOU FIND

Farmer says HARD TO MISS THE GIANT CRUSHER. WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?

Chuck says WELL, IT'S MY MOM'S BIRTHDAY, AND SHE REALLY DOESN'T LIKE PINEAPPLES.

Farmer says SO YOU DECIDED TO ERADICATE EVERY PINEAPPLE IN THE CITY? WHAT A GREAT PRESENT.

Chuck says THIS IS FOR YOU, MA. YA!

He kicks a pile of pineapples

Word Girl loses her balances and shouts NOOOO!

She gets crushed underneath the press with all the pineapples

Farmer yells MY PINEAPPLES!

Chuck says YES, I DID IT, I DID IT, I WON. DID YOU SEE IT, MA? DID YOU? I DESTROYED THOSE PINEAPPLES FOR YOU?

Chuck’s mothers says OH, CHUCKIE, I HATE PINEAPPLES.

Chuck says I KNOW.

Chuck’s mothers says EXCEPT FOR BRENT'S HAMMOCK, THAT'S THE BEST BIRTHDAY PRESENT I'VE EVER GOTTEN.

Chuck says AW, THANKS, MA.

The press rises. Word Girl and Huggy are covered in crushed pineapple

Farmer says WELL, I REALLY SHOULD PRESS CHARGES, BUT SINCE YOU STOLE THOSE PINEAPPLES FOR A BIRTHDAY PRESENT FOR YOUR MOM, I'D FEEL LOUSY IF I DID.

Word Girl says BUT?

Farmer says PLUS, NOW I'VE GOT A WHOLE BIN OF FRESHLY CRUSHED PINEAPPLE TO SELL.

Word Girl says HOW AM I GOING TO MAKE MY COLESLAW NOW?

Farmer says OH, HEY, WORD GIRL, HERE'S THE PINEAPPLE YOU GAVE ME BEFORE. LOOKS LIKE YOU NEED IT MORE THAN I DO.

He loads the crushed pineapple onto his tractor and holds up a pineapple

Word Girl says REALLY? THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU.

She flies up and grabs the pineapple

Word Girl says COME ON, HUGGY, TIME TO MAKE OUR COLESLAW.

They fly off A moment later, Becky, Bob, and Mr. Botsford are standing in the kitchen

Becky asks OKAY, ARE YOU GUYS READY?

Mr. Botsford says READY.

Becky says REALLY READY?

Mr. Botsford exclaims REALLY.

Becky says REALLY, REALLY READY?

Mr. Botsford says REALLY, REALLY READY.

Becky says REALLY, REALLY, REALLY READY?

Mr. Botsford says REALLY, REALLY, REALLY.

Becky says OKAY. I THINK YOU'RE READY. I WANT YOU TO BE HONEST WITH ME, OKAY?

Mr. Botsford says OKAY.

Becky says BUT NOT TOO HONEST. I MEAN... OH, JUST TASTE IT.

She hands Bob and Mr. Botsford two bowls of pineapple casserole

Mr. Botsford takes a bite and says HMM. WELL...

Becky turns around and exclaims IT'S HORRIBLE. YOU HATE IT. I'LL JUST THROW IT OUT AND START OVER.

She picks up a large bowl of pineapple casserole and holds it over the trash bin

Becky says NOW I HAVE TO FIND ANOTHER PINEAPPLE.

Mr. Botsford says NO, HONEY, STOP. IT'S PERFECT.

Becky says IT IS?

Mr. Botsford says ABSOLUTELY. AND YOU MADE IT ALL ON YOUR OWN.

Bob shovels the casserole into his mouth

Becky says OH, THANKS, DAD.

Mr. Botsford says IN FACT, IT'S GOING TO GO GREAT WITH THIS BOWL OF CRUSHED PINEAPPLE I JUST BOUGHT AT THE GROCERY STORE. DID YOU KNOW THEY'RE HAVING A SALE?

The Narrator says AND SO THE BOTSFORD FAMILY COLESLAW, CHUCK'S MOM'S BIRTHDAY, AND THIS EPISODE ALL COME TO A HAPPY ENDING, WHILE ALL INVOLVING PINEAPPLES FOR SOME REASON.

The doorbell rings. Becky opens the door to a group of city people. She holds out her bowl of casserole and smiles

The Narrator says NOW REMEMBER, THE NEXT TIME YOU WANT TO ERADICATE BOREDOM, CRY OUT EUREKA, AND FIND ANOTHER EXCITING EPISODE OF "WORD GIRL."

Spoons attack the bowl of casserole. A moment later, the bowl is empty